Bar Review #3

I normally use a picture of the bar’s toilet to capture its essence but for Oakley’s, such an act would be totally inappropriate.

A country bar located just down Valley Mills, it’s easily one of Waco’s finer establishments. Complete with high end pool tables, two bars, dance floor, and friendly servers (see picture above), Oakley’s leaves little to be desired.

The crowd was a relatively young, good looking mix of locals, accompanied by an array of seemingly well kept cougars and cowboys. While most engaged in some form of dancing, others remained still; exchanging stories about blogging and complimentary drinks for the implied promise of female companionship.

In summary, its definitely a place I’d go back to.

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 9
Things to do Besides Drink: 7
Prices: 4
Bathrooms: 7
Friendliness: 7
Drink Selection: 9
Fear Factor: Very Low
Amount of Fun: Very High

Some Lawyer Walking Around Knowledge

Confirming what we all took for granted, Prof. Contracts today admitted to being a professional foosball player from 1973 – 1975. One day he’ll have to meet my father; a man who dropped out of college during the 60’s to play handball.

Evening Update

Tonight’s football game was canceled due to light issues, but not before the 3Q’s went down 20 – 8. An incredible feat considering the game was only about nine minutes long.

I’ll save my full commentary till we have a real game. Until then we have the third round of the Liquidated Damage Tour to attend to.

Tomorrow we’ll be reviewing Oakley’s. Located at 816 N Valley Mills Dr. this fine establishment is renowned for its cold beer and bikini clad servers. Like always we’ll be there from 9 – 11; be there or be square.

Contracts I Grades

8 A

18 A-

45 B

14 B-

2 C

3 D

3 F

For a majority of the class, this was a very friendly first year curve. About 8% of the class got A’s and about 8% of the class got below a B-. Unfortunately, included in the latter group are three F’s.

Sadly, if you’re a 2Q, a B- puts you somewhere in the bottom 75% of your class. I can only recommend you start panicking now.

As an aside, there is at least one grade yet to be accounted for. My friend received an e-mail today from Admin reading simply:

[Name],
What exam number did you use for finals?
JC

From what I gather, that's rarely a good sign.

Public Service Announcements

1) Weather.com says there should be snow showers this Thursday night with an anticipated low of 26 degrees.

2) Contracts grades should be out later this afternoon.

3) The 3Q’s will be playing their first game of flag football against the 7Q’s today at 5. I’m going out on a limb and predicting a series of colorful, yet unfortunate events. See softball & basketball.

Congrats to Us

LARC II memos and grades came back today and rumor has it, our class was the first to not fail a single person.

Kind of makes up for that whole CivPro incident.

A Wacoan-Like-Incident

After much libation in celebration of this Thanksgiving Day, I must attempt to coherently express what just happened.

Allow me to fast forward through the wonderful meal, and everything else prior to 10:30 PM. Somehow, after my adventure to The Shade Tree located in Lorena, Texas, nothing else seems to matter.

Why would I go to a bar called the Shade Tree in Lorena, Texas? The answer is simple. First, Mark Reitmeier told me that blogging about blogging was simply queer; second, I was in the mood for a life experience rather than just a fleeting bout of coital relations.

So here’s the story:

Law school Mark, baseball Seth, and blogging Swanburg walk into a bar. Overtly trashy, yet subtly hot bartender named Loretta tells me it’s illegal in Texas to serve beer to out-of-staters; I persevere.

After two rounds of drinks and three games of pool, last call was announced around midnight. We purchased the bar’s last round of drinks, for the total cost of $18, and thus inferentially invited 34-year old Debbie over to greet us.

Debbie is a self-proclaimed fornicating aficionado; she is also the mother of two.

Debbie: You’re the sweethearts that bought me the drink?
Me: (while receiving hug) Yea
Debbie: I would wear you out.
Me: Excuse me?
Debbie: Yea, I could take all three of you at the same time and when I was done there’d be nothing left.

(Stealing some of Seth’s dip and switching the conversation over to him)

Debbie: You know I can dip and drink more than all of you combined.
Seth: I don’t doubt it.
Debbie: I don’t even need to spit. That’s not lady like.
Seth: (pause)
Debbie: And I ain’t just talking about this dip.

Maybe it’s time to mention that Debbie wasn’t much of a looker. Her pink track suit over the corpulent midsection left much to be desired. And the fact her 12-year old kept calling the bar to talk . . . huge turn off.

Anywho, it wasn’t till we were getting kicked out that we discovered she’d been living with a guy named Randy for about 7 years. Judging by the way Randy escorted her out, I’m assuming he’s the jealous type:

(Outside): I’m going to fucking kill him

Bartender: You guys shouldn’t go out there for awhile
Me: Is he going to kill us?
Bartender: No, we checked him last night and he didn’t have a gun.
Me: Why did you check him last night?
Bartender: Oh you know.
Mark: So do you have a backroom?
Bartender: No I’ll just lock the doors. He’ll leave eventually. You know you guys are so cute. You have to come back sometime.
Seth: You realize that there is a man outside that wants to kill us?
Bartender: He’s harmless really. We have a country band coming and a Chili cook-off this Saturday.

(Outside): I’m going to kill those young fucks

Bartender: Don’t worry the doors are locked, he’ll leave soon enough.


Sure enough she was right. After about ten minutes, the standoff was over, Randy had left and we were free to leave.

It's now 3 AM . . . Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving.

A Road Bump

I’ve fallen victim to a vituperative bit of blogging subterfuge. You may have noticed my hit counter has been reset back to zero; I hate whoever did this. My list of suspects is short, comprising only three candidates; all are known members of Al Qaeda . . . Osler, Thomas and Coyote Ugly.

Fortunately there’s a backup.

Twenty-three days ago I started using a program that not only keeps track of the hits but also where those hits came from. It tells me what country the user was in, what website they came from, and what search words brought them to my site.

For example:

In the last twenty-three days I’ve had 11,392 hits; 1,053 of those people were referred from Osler’s blog.

Of the total hits: 11,335 have been from the U.S; 26 from Canada; 4 from Greece; 4 from the U.K.; 2 from Australia and 1 from Argentina, Finland, France, Indonesia, Italy, Korea, Malaysia, Mexico, New Zealand and Romania.

Unfortunately, it’s become apparent that several of my visitors aren’t much interested in my general content.

For example: “Mung tounge” has led to 7 hits, while “merkin wigs” has led to 3.

Some of my other favorite search phrases include:
“haikus about listening” (You probably didn’t want to read about my cat licking himself.)
“Prom spots Waco” (I've taken the liberty of linking to SoTheBearSays in order to clarify why I no longer recommend the law library.)
“Celebrity cohabition” (If you still have questions, ask Chicago.)
“Waco Sucks Blog.” (Possibly the answer to “Waco We Do.”)

Anyway, Al Qaeda may have won the battle, but the war is far from over.

We’re Bringing the Heat

Although not listed on the schedule, the 3Q’s will be playing in what promises to be a fun filled season of law league flag football.

If I hadn’t already lost the Ranch betting on Shawn Bell for Heisman and Bledsoe for player of the year, I would totally bet it on my team to win. We are a gritty bunch with four combined years of football experience, and at least nine minutes of playing time.

Coach Reitmeier has already informed me I’ll be playing either Ass-Back or Left-Out, so I’m kind of excited.

Round #3

I met Terry Lynn last Wednesday at Tom’s. She stepped in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered herself a drink. As I walked over to do the same, she looked in my direction, gave a wink and issued a compliment:

“Honey, get you some Wranglers and you’ll be like George Straight . . . looking just as good leaving as you did when you was coming.”

Terry Lynn is a 44-year old mother of two, grandmother of two, twice married, once divorced, several times incarcerated, God fearing lover of all.

Her 24-year old daughter is married to her husband’s 27-year old son. Together they have two 7-year old children. The two love birds have been step-siblings for the past 15-years.

Terry Lynn is best friends with her husband’s ex-wife, unfortunately described as a suicidal drunk. But as she says, “I’m compassionate you know, but the bitch calls me all the time saying how she misses her man and wants to kill herself, and sometimes I’m like, just do it already. He’s not your man, he’s my man so stop talking about it and do it.”

Anyway, Terry Lynn has cordially invited us all to her favorite bar, The Spur, next Wednesday from 10 – 2. Judging from the fact she enjoys getting crunked to Mike Jones, and frequents Tom’s Tavern, I place her opinion above most. If you aren’t going out of town, to The Spur we go.

Comment on Comments

The post about Prof. Property wasn’t an attack against her.

Great law professors aren’t born, they are created. First they have to go to school, get top grades, and then turn down high paying jobs to teach. Once they decide to teach, they must then develop their own pedagogies. Generally their styles will be a compilation of their personalities, and the styles they’ve experienced in the past.

Prof. Property is no different. She is a good person, and a good professor. One day she will probably be a great professor. She has goals for the students and does things in the classroom with those goals in mind. I’m not a psychic, but I’m guessing the goal was to encourage people to be more prepared, by way of peer pressure. The theory being the prepared students would be mad at the unprepared students, and pressure the unprepared students into doing work.

It didn’t go as planned.

Nobody was upset with the unprepared students, and most saw it as a good opportunity to leave school early on a Friday. The few people who were upset, directed their anger towards the professor. Having said that, I doubt there will be anyone without printed briefs in the next class.

As for “Coyote Ugly”, I’ll simply say they remind me of this guy I met in the Shogun parking lot. Firstly, if you don’t like what the professors are doing, you can tell them. Odds are they’ll listen. And a Match.com profile? Why is that embarrassing? It seems all of your problems stem from the fact you forget professors are real people.

Do yourself the favor and drop out.

Stepping It Up

Prof. Property’s rules are no secret. She requires every student brief every case and those briefs have to be printed. You can’t be late, and you can’t miss class.

People get kicked out all the time, but today was special; possibly unprecedented.

There are two sections of Property II. The M – Z’s have her in the morning, the A – L’s in the afternoon. After teaching a full class in the morning with a mere one casualty, she took it to the next level after lunch. From what I gather, five minutes into class she asked to see the class’ briefs from the last seven cases. A dozen or so students admitted to not having their briefs printed and with that she walked out.

Kicking out an entire class isn’t unprecedented, but kicking out a single section is.

The morning students went over stuff that the afternoon students never will. Granted, the M – Z’s were kind enough to share their notes and I doubt come test time it will make any difference, but more than a few A - L's have taken umbrage with the maneuver.

Since I wasn't actually in the class, feel free to clarify the story.

Like When Pepsi Advertised the Harrier Jet

I had a whole post lined up and ready to go about Terry Lynn but some things can wait.

Osler has just announced a prize that must be won by me or someone participating in the Liquidated Damage Tour:

“This week's prize is either last week's prize (the photo of two Baylor Law Professors in silly clothes) or maybe an evening at Chapter 11 with Bates and me.”

Although the language, “or maybe” isn’t exactly definitive, it is compelling. If the winner gets to pick the prize, and we take out the “maybe”, I’ll probably spend my entire Friday haikuing.

Bar Review #2

What’s that you say? Your daughter married your husband’s son and you have two, seven-year old grandkids? You’ve been with your husband thirteen years, and your daughter is 24? You just got out of jail?

That was my end of the conversation with Terry Lynn; a bona fide regular at Tom’s Tavern.

Nestled by the corner of University Parks and La Salle, Tom’s Tavern is easily overlooked from the road. The establishment is no larger than a four car garage and plays host to some of Waco’s finest on a daily basis.

There are three kinds of people that would love Tom’s. Those that hate choices, those that hate teeth, and those that like drinking at seven in the morning.

The $1.75, ice-cold beers are served by May, a sassy dame that wears purple clothes to match her Harley. She hates you till she likes you, and is quick with profanities. Ask for a draft beer and she might just tell you to go fuck yourself. Today is May’s birthday; I was told to bring her a cupcake.

Finally, I’ll warn you to be careful with the Jukebox. It’s really loud and the regulars don’t seem to like music.

Summary:
The bar really does open at 7 AM. Apparently it’s a hotspot for people getting off their jobs working the night shift. The only reason I’d go back is to talk to Terry Lynn, and bring the bartender her cupcake. (More on Terry Lynn in a later post)

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 5

Things to do Besides Drink: 3

Prices: 8

Bathrooms: 4

Friendliness: 6
Drink Selection: 2
Fear Factor: Medium
Amount of Fun: Medium

Other Reviews:

Latham

Carver (Pictures)

Re-Writing the Rules

The current house Beer Pong Rules need some work. It’s come to my attention that every Friday evening, someone starts a fight over the enumerated rules so ineffectively laid out by one of our fellow classmates.

The driving forces behind this reform are the overachieving law students who keep screaming about “the drafters’ intent.” Allow me to let you in on a little secret my friends. The drafter was an intoxicated, belligerent, female who had no right to wield a Sharpee, nevertheless draft a set of binding rules. Therefore we shall start anew. The board shall be flipped over, and a new set of rules transcribed. They shall be coherent, logical, and effective.

Here is the newest version, feel free to make changes.

And if that doesn’t do it for you, tonight from 9 – 11 the Liquidated Damage Tour will be making its second stop at Tom’s Tavern. Be there or be square.

Update

In an ironic turn of events, the mechanic’s sister happens to be a Federal Judge. He called her, got some advice, and managed to convince the insurance company to pay $771.86 for the repair.

I now have a car.

Things Have Been Better

This morning is going poorly. I woke up feeling like shit, my douche bag of a cat dismantled a full roll of toilet paper, and after 8 days of scrubbing rides, my classmates learned to ignore my early morning calls and texts.

Subsequently, I missed CrimPro but not for want of effort.

At 9:13 I started marching. At 9:18 I got a phone call. It was the mechanic. Turns out he disposed of the original parts, and therefore the insurance company was denying the claim. He apologized, and asked what I was going to do. I told him I’d call him back.

I called the insurance company. First they scolded me for calling while walking in a wind storm; second, they blamed the mechanic for not following procedure. I hung up, tightened the hood over my head and kept marching.

I eventually made it to school, my face slightly wind burned, my legs slightly weary. The printer in the lounge lacked toner, and my cell phone put up an error message.

Fortunately, Prof. Property left me alone and Wednesday night is fast approaching.

I Only Wanted an Oil Change

The Friday after finals, I brought my car into Luikart’s; the only place in town capable of fixing foreign vehicles. While performing the oil change, they discovered some stuff that wasn’t quite right. The mechanics took notes on what needed to be fixed, got my warranty info and I left.

When I brought my car back on Tuesday, Luikart’s told me the insurance company was going to cover everything but the exhaust and struts. The mechanic asked me if he should get started on the stuff covered by insurance and I said yes. He strongly recommended I fix the exhaust but said I could wait on the struts. So that’s what I did.

That was Tuesday.

On Friday I called up the shop asking if my car would be ready. The reasoning had something to do with an uncharged battery, but the answer was no.

So I went the weekend without a car.

Today after my morning class, I went to pick up my long lost Saab. I sat at the mechanic’s from 10:45 – 12:45, waiting for them to clear something with the insurance company. The exhaust cost me about $485 and the insurance bill was around $1100. By the time 12:45 rolled around, the problem wasn’t solved and I was looking to be late for class, so I left my credit card as collateral, and drove my car to school.

I got a message during class saying the insurance company was denying the claim. I’m not exactly sure why, but it had something to do with a minor technicality and the timing of the mechanic’s phone calls.

Unfortunately, I still don’t have my car.

The insurance company is sending an inspector to come look at the work that’s been done within the next 48 hours but until then, I have a perfectly working car that I’m unable to drive.

All I know is that I’m not paying. If anyone would like to tell me how I go about getting my car back without paying as originally intended, that would be much appreciated.

Round Two

Tom’s Tavern will be playing host to The Liquidated Damages Tour’s second stop this coming Wednesday from 9 – 11 PM. Located at 39 La Salle Ave. this fine establishment is only about one block from University Parks; a mere hop, skip and a jump from the Law School.

What the place lacks in size, it more than makes up for with class, style and rich history. I drive by it everyday on my way to school, and I’m ceaselessly amazed by what I see. From 8 – 11 AM, Tom’s is filled with throngs of what I assume are devoted patrons, consuming what I assume is not coffee. If Fred & Wally’s was a little highfalutin for your tastes, Tom’s Tavern may be the place for you.

Summer Plans

My best friend from undergrad randomly stopped by today and over lunch we decided I’ll be spending the summer in sunny San Antonio. We’re not yet sure exactly what I’ll be doing but I’ll be doing something.

Consequently, I’ll be leasing my place at Bandera Ranch over the summer. If you’re interested in a fully furnished 1 bed, 1 bath, 1 car garage let me know. The furnishings include a 42” flat screen, brand new Whirlpool appliances, washer, dryer, central A/C, and security system. I’m also leaving everything I have for the kitchen. The backdoor opens up to the pool area which includes: a pool, lounge chairs, hot tub, putting green, volleyball court, and a fireplace patio area. Also connected is a workout area, pool table and tanning bed.




The place also has a security gate, lighted basketball court and walking trails.

It’s about a two minute drive from the law school and a good place to have parties. I must however disclose that the neighbors tend to be very friendly.

The condo lists for $975 a month and includes both cable and internet. It will be available from May 1 – July 31.

Email me with any questions.

Breaking News

I’m parting ways with tradition. There will be no haiku in today's post.

That however isn’t news.

The news is, Shogun (The good Japanese restaurant mentioned a few posts back) is now serving FREE. . .yes that is right. . .FREE beer and wine with your food. Apparently, they have yet to obtain a liquor license and can’t legally sell the booze. Instead they are simply giving it away.

If you call, they will tell you that its only a drink or two, but if you keep eating they’ll keep serving.

Bar Review #1

Take Scruff’s, add a couple video games, put mesh wire over the urinals, trade college students for bikers, and you have Fred & Wally’s.

A fine smoke filled establishment just a stones throw from the court house, Fred & Wally’s finds itself in a class all its own. It’s a class that places a premium on political incorrectness, body hair, and cigarettes.

The $2 beers are served cold by a trio of gamine who go by the name of “The Dick Me Chicks,” and strangely, if you want high end liquor they can probably serve you that too. Behind the bar, two 1980’s refrigerators come stocked with everything from Grey Goose to Hypno.

For my musically inclined readers, Scruff’s wasn’t the only place with karaoke last night. Sure those high brow folks may now have a three-color projector and a bed sheet but Fred & Wally’s has far more songs, sung by far more interesting people.

And to answer someone’s question, Fred and Wally are not Federal Court Judges. Fred is the co-owner and full time manager while Wally runs the “Icehouse” which he proudly owns by himself.

Summary:
Unless you’re looking for a classy girl or guy to bring home to mom, I highly recommend Fred & Wally’s.

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 7
Things to do Besides Drink: 9
Prices: 7
Bathrooms: 6
Friendliness: 8
Drink Selection: 9
Fear Factor: Low
Amount of Fun: Very High

I encourage everyone that was there last night to leave their own thoughts. If Carver ever recovers, there may be some pictures.

Other Reviews:

Latham’s

Carver

**Only the first three pictures were actually taken at Fred & Wally's, the rest are from Scruff's.**

Shogun Just Got a Little Nicer

Since other Baylor blogs are fully capable of covering the day’s quotes and politics, I’ll leave you with a short story about the enchanting world of inbreeding.

Last night, I took a hot-ass date to Shogun (the surprisingly good Japanese restaurant down Valley Mills.) After my hot-ass date and I were through eating, talking and having a great time, we walked out to the car. As we approached the vehicle, a large Caucasian gentleman, with bad skin and a disheveled mullet casually walked up from the front.

Guy: Did y’all just eat here?
Me: Yea
Guy: You like it?
Me: Yea
Guy: Well I’m not meaning to scare you or nothing but I used to work here until last week and they never checked my information or nothing, and I used to smoke weed and cigarettes in the back by the food, and drop food on the ground and not wash my hands and stuff.
Me: Ummmm.
Guy: Yea you know, the new management just fired me and things aint right in there. Just thought you should know.
Me: Thanks.

Anyway the whole point of this story was to say Shogun’s management is on the right track and tonight is Wednesday. That means Fred and Wally’s from 9 – 11.

Killing The Sexy

After today’s contracts I’m convinced if Chicago wants to make the big bucks he should drop out of law school and teach sex-ed to children; he has a rare gift for administering mental castration. The most un-horny of words kept flying out his mouth, and although someone tried to stop him, he defiantly marched on.

Parents, if you want to teach your kids about the birds and the bees, use such words as:
carnal knowledge, coitus, fornication, generation, relations, courtship, cohabitation, copula, or sexual congress.

Your kids will have no clue what you are talking about, but it won’t sound fun and they’ll probably be scared; especially of coitus and copula. If by chance you want to describe a couple that lives together without sin, Chicago says to use the word, “cohabition.”

The word sexual congress could have led me into a story about LAPP but I quoted him yesterday, and I can’t do it two days in a row. Instead I’ll just say he followed some weird story of fornication and baby making with a story describing a Supreme Court Justice as a “little dictator.”

And that reminded me of a joke I like to call:

“The Dictator”

Buckwheat and Darla were in school, and the teacher asked Darla, "How do you spell 'dumb'?"

Darla said, "D-u-m-b, dumb."

The teacher said, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

The girl said, "Buckwheat is dumb."

Now spell "stupid."

Darla said, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."

The teacher said, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

Darla said, "Buckwheat is stupid."

Then the teacher called on Buckwheat and said, "Buckwheat, spell 'dictates.'"

Buckwheat stood up and said, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e-s, dictates."

The teacher replied, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

Buckwheat responded, "Hey Darla, I may be dumb and I may be stupid but why don’t you tell the teacher how my dictates?"

A Drive To Remember

After this morning, my life is one step closer to complete. I was at the mechanic dropping off my car and the secretary asked if I needed a ride. I told her I needed to be dropped off at the law school, and an older gentleman, who they apparently knew well, volunteered to drive me instead.

Turned out he was an old Baylor lawyer. After discussing golf, cars, and professors, he told me about the law. He talked about the profession, he talked about sentencing guidelines, he talked about specialties inside specialties and he talked about Baylor.

As the car pulled up to the law school, I got his name for a second time, shook his hand, and parted ways.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I Googled Mr. Gary Coker of Waco. Turns out, he is the former lawyer of Waco’s very own . . . David Koresh.

And So It Begins

I was feeling good about being a 3Q until Prof. LAPP suddenly yelled, “YOU ARE MY CHILDREN . . . AND I WANT TO DUMP ON YOU.”

(awkward silence)

After leaving the classroom, shocked, scared and confused, I’m left praying the statement was made in reference to an excessive workload.

Regardless, I promised you a Bar Review awhile back and here she comes.

The Liquidated Damages Tour will be holding its inaugural event, this coming Wednesday at the world famous Fred and Wally’s. Located at 210 S. 8th St. this fine establishment is bound to be a wonderfully eclectic mix of class, pizzazz, and tomfoolery.

So put the kids to bed early and come on out. I’m thinking we will be there from 9 – 11. I wouldn’t miss this.

Good Times

Yesterday, I officially woke up at 6:19. Unfortunately it was the PM, and I was still hung over. Today I did slightly better, awaking sometime around 5.

Without going into the incriminating details, the weekend was a whole lot of fun. I met a couple new neighbors, had several exceptionally awkward moments, purged my brain of excess knowledge and brought others down with me. I couldn’t have asked for more. Carver has posted some of the more appropriate pictures, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Tomorrow is the start of the new quarter and I’m excited. Nothing cures a weekend-long-hangover like the roborant effects of LAPP, CrimPro, Contracts II and Property II.


And a Happy Birthday to the exceptionally, smart, funny, gorgeous, and ghetto fabulously wonderful, Miss B. Ringel. We here at FromMalibuToWaco wish you the best.

Ad for Haiku Friday

CrimPro book needed;
If you are looking to sell
Please send an e-mail

You Are Cordially Invited

It has been confirmed. I will be having a belated Halloween party, tomorrow, Friday November 3, and all are invited.

Since this will be a Halloween event, costumes are required. Unacceptable costumes include, “law student”, “drunk guy / girl”, or anything racist.

I’ll assume this event starts at 9 and will continue till 4ish. The fashionably appropriate time to arrive will be approximately 10:15.

B.Y.O.B. or hope I purchase your poison of choice. The decision is yours.

The address is:
Bandera Ranch
2410 S. 2nd St. Unit # 628
Waco, TX 76707

If you are coming from the law school, you will make a left on University, and turn right on La Salle (the second light). Then make a left on 2nd (across from the Dairy Queen) and the gate to Bandera Ranch will be about two blocks on your left.

If you have never been to my house, don’t feel awkward about showing up unannounced. People do it all the time.

Greetings From The Other Side

For all the kind folks with finals left, I wish you the best. Keep your heads up; it’s nice over here. After three Ninfritas, a couple Coronas, two rounds of Tiger Woods ’07 and a quick dip in the hot tub, I can assure you, life after finals is quite nice. Following my lengthy nap, I’ll continue with the binge drinking, hopefully find a ride to Scruff’s and then manage my way home.

So best of luck with whatever you have left. The drought makes the water all that much sweeter.

Passing On the Confidence

Eight hours before my last final of the quarter and I receive an e-mail from my mother reading simply:

Word: sciolism (noun)

Pronounced: SY-uh-liz-uhm

Meaning: Superficial knowledge; a superficial show of learning.


I’ll use it in a sentence for you folks at home.

Tomorrow’s Torts II exam will be a long, painful three hours: One essay worth 150 points and 5 short answers worth a combined 30. Although the Professor expects great things, I’ll likely be displaying a sciolism.

I thank my mother for her confidence and with that I must go back to studying. Torts II at 8 Ninfa’s at 11:30.