Wild West Bar Review

What's the hottest thing to hit Waco since the Alico Building? The answer is Wild West and the club has a website to prove it.

Located next to Crickets, the place boasts 12,000 square feet and a $500,000 interior. To quote the website:

"2-Steppin' & Long-neckin' is our motto," says Thompson and judging by the largest country dance floor in the area, he is dead on. Open Wednesday through Saturday, Wild West will feature 4 full service bars, a solid oak dance floor and over 8,000 watts of clean, crisp sound originating from a state of the art computer system manned by none other than Waco's own, DJ Eric "Animal" Nix."

Since this picture is of the DJ booth, I think it's safe to assume the one in the hat is "Animal.")

Positives:
- Some of the best drink specials ever.
- You can win money for singing karaoke.
- More undergrad females than you can shake a stick at.
- The Tootsie Roll and Macarena are played at least once a night.

Negatives:
- Huge lines (hour or more wait) from 9:30 - 12. (Before and after that it's generally fine).
- If a girl asks you to dance, she means two-step.
- $1 well drinks will make you feel terrible the next day.

As an aside to those not in law school reading this, I saw some drunken undergrad guy try to pass a really bad fake at which point he was arrested . . . in front of his girlfriend. I laughed till I cried.

Bar Review #5

Big Als is what Disneyland would be like if they replaced the rides and children with two pool tables, four dartboards and the coldest beer in town.

It was incredible how friendly the people were. When I walked in, Mario the bartender shook my hand and thanked me for coming. After telling me about their beer selection, he introduced me to the two young owners [neither named Al], and a couple of his friends. Everyone smiled and waved like was I was special. I don’t get that a lot.

They serve beer in Big-O style, frozen chalices for $2.50 or bottles for $2 . . . or there about. My memory on the subject escapes me.

They have pool and dart tournaments on Thursday, and from what I gather, most of the players aren’t very good. I played a game or two against Miguel and Angel and their play fell short of remarkable. Great guys that high-fived me with reckless abandon throughout the night but honestly . . . I could have beat them pushing the ball with my face.

The place has been open since December but the “Grand Opening” is this Saturday (I don't get it either) and everyone is invited. They’ll be having free barbeque, DJ’s and possibly a magician. Granted the magician is just the bartender pretending to steal your nose but it’s a good fucking trick.

Summary:
It’s a great place. Good beer, nice people, and walking distance from both the Law School and my apartment. In the big scheme of things I couldn’t really ask for more. They take credit cards but have a strong preference for Texas IDs. It’s a place I’ll for sure go back to.

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 7
Things to do Besides Drink: 7
Prices: 8
Bathrooms: 7
Friendliness: 10

Drink Selection: 5

Fear Factor: Low

Amount of Fun: High

*I don’t remember anyone having a camera so there may not be pictures of the event. At least the kind of pictures one takes with a camera. Fortunately, I’ve taken the liberty of using Google Images to find a picture of a stranger drinking from a similarly sized, frosty chalice. Enjoy.

Bar Review #4

Like an STD, the Crying Shame was a fun night I’ll remember for a lifetime.

Located just off the 6, it easily claims title to one of Waco’s finest watering holes. The place has two bars, two pool tables, one shuffleboard, a couple video games, three gambling machines, a dance floor, and a few flat screens.

The drinks were cold and relatively inexpensive, the shuffle board was gratis and the music was an eclectic mix of country and hip hop. All and all things were going swimmingly till my first trip to the bathroom.

I walked in to see a 6’3” vision in plaid taking relief in a long pissing trough. As I walked over to share in the experience, he engaged me in a brief conversation that went something like this:

Cowboy: You’re going to piss in the toilet.
Me: Fair enough

With that I took two steps back, made a right, and went in the stall to proceed as directed.

The clientele generally ranged in age from 30 – 50 and shared a distinctively western sense of fashion. If you want to meet new friends start playing pool and people will come to you. Like my man Dave pictured above.** He isn’t much for trusting, or smiling but he’s only been to jail once so he’s got that going for him.

For more pictures see Carver’s blog.

For another review: see Latham

**Dave was a little camera shy so Carver managed to take the picture without a flash. This image was taken moments after Dave accused Wharton (also pictured) of being a cop.

In summary, I'd go back with a group. Riding solo might not go over so well.

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 8

Things to do Besides Drink: 9

Prices: 7

Bathrooms: 6

Friendliness: 5

Drink Selection: 9

Fear Factor: Medium

Amount of Fun: High

Bar Review #3

I normally use a picture of the bar’s toilet to capture its essence but for Oakley’s, such an act would be totally inappropriate.

A country bar located just down Valley Mills, it’s easily one of Waco’s finer establishments. Complete with high end pool tables, two bars, dance floor, and friendly servers (see picture above), Oakley’s leaves little to be desired.

The crowd was a relatively young, good looking mix of locals, accompanied by an array of seemingly well kept cougars and cowboys. While most engaged in some form of dancing, others remained still; exchanging stories about blogging and complimentary drinks for the implied promise of female companionship.

In summary, its definitely a place I’d go back to.

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 9
Things to do Besides Drink: 7
Prices: 4
Bathrooms: 7
Friendliness: 7
Drink Selection: 9
Fear Factor: Very Low
Amount of Fun: Very High

Bar Review #2

What’s that you say? Your daughter married your husband’s son and you have two, seven-year old grandkids? You’ve been with your husband thirteen years, and your daughter is 24? You just got out of jail?

That was my end of the conversation with Terry Lynn; a bona fide regular at Tom’s Tavern.

Nestled by the corner of University Parks and La Salle, Tom’s Tavern is easily overlooked from the road. The establishment is no larger than a four car garage and plays host to some of Waco’s finest on a daily basis.

There are three kinds of people that would love Tom’s. Those that hate choices, those that hate teeth, and those that like drinking at seven in the morning.

The $1.75, ice-cold beers are served by May, a sassy dame that wears purple clothes to match her Harley. She hates you till she likes you, and is quick with profanities. Ask for a draft beer and she might just tell you to go fuck yourself. Today is May’s birthday; I was told to bring her a cupcake.

Finally, I’ll warn you to be careful with the Jukebox. It’s really loud and the regulars don’t seem to like music.

Summary:
The bar really does open at 7 AM. Apparently it’s a hotspot for people getting off their jobs working the night shift. The only reason I’d go back is to talk to Terry Lynn, and bring the bartender her cupcake. (More on Terry Lynn in a later post)

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 5

Things to do Besides Drink: 3

Prices: 8

Bathrooms: 4

Friendliness: 6
Drink Selection: 2
Fear Factor: Medium
Amount of Fun: Medium

Other Reviews:

Latham

Carver (Pictures)

Bar Review #1

Take Scruff’s, add a couple video games, put mesh wire over the urinals, trade college students for bikers, and you have Fred & Wally’s.

A fine smoke filled establishment just a stones throw from the court house, Fred & Wally’s finds itself in a class all its own. It’s a class that places a premium on political incorrectness, body hair, and cigarettes.

The $2 beers are served cold by a trio of gamine who go by the name of “The Dick Me Chicks,” and strangely, if you want high end liquor they can probably serve you that too. Behind the bar, two 1980’s refrigerators come stocked with everything from Grey Goose to Hypno.

For my musically inclined readers, Scruff’s wasn’t the only place with karaoke last night. Sure those high brow folks may now have a three-color projector and a bed sheet but Fred & Wally’s has far more songs, sung by far more interesting people.

And to answer someone’s question, Fred and Wally are not Federal Court Judges. Fred is the co-owner and full time manager while Wally runs the “Icehouse” which he proudly owns by himself.

Summary:
Unless you’re looking for a classy girl or guy to bring home to mom, I highly recommend Fred & Wally’s.

Basic Ratings (1 – 10) or (Very Low – Very High):

General Ambiance: 7
Things to do Besides Drink: 9
Prices: 7
Bathrooms: 6
Friendliness: 8
Drink Selection: 9
Fear Factor: Low
Amount of Fun: Very High

I encourage everyone that was there last night to leave their own thoughts. If Carver ever recovers, there may be some pictures.

Other Reviews:

Latham’s

Carver

**Only the first three pictures were actually taken at Fred & Wally's, the rest are from Scruff's.**