Battle of the Sects

Of the 60 teams that started the tournament, 33.5* were comprised of fall starters, 13.5 were summer starters and 13 were Non-LARC. Now only 16 remain and of those 16, 7.5 are fall starters, 4.5 are summer starters, and 4 are non-LARC.

In percentage terms, 33% of the summer starter teams broke compared to 30.8% and 22.4% of the non-LARC and fall starter teams respectively.

So basically we won and it feels nice. It's not everyday a class with a 2.148 CivPro gpa wins anything.

* The .5's are the result of mix breed teams.
**The top 16 is 43.75% female and 56.25% male.

Moot Court Bracket

(Click To Enlarge)

I don't encourage gambling but that's the bracket so . . . you know . . . do with it what you want.

I must head out for the night but congrats to those that made it.

Blogging From the Eye of the Storm

So this one time the tornado bells are going off and I'm supposed to be going against this girl in moot court but this girl is also a storm chaser. True story. So while everyone is panicking, trying not to die, the storm chaser is looking at clouds and angles and then . . . like she found our friend Mr. Jesus:

Her: "The barometric pressure evened out. The storm is over, everyone is safe."
Me: "How do you know that?"
Her: "I felt it"
Me: "Where?"
Her: "I just felt it."

In other news, the storm sank the Baylor sailboats and the break will be announced tonight, Friday, at 8:45PM in the law school.

Prom Night is Forever and the Saga Never Ends

Thanks to Red Andrews at BearMeat and the brilliance that is YouTube, we can forever relive the wonder that was Promgate.

Zing Mr. Brown . . . zing.

A Revision

Law Day Picnic

Saturday, March 31
12:00 to 4:00

FREE Lunch: 12:00 to 2:00

Due to inclement weather, the picnic will be held at
the lawschool

Free Law Day t-shirt for the first 160 people!

Lunch catered by Double R (burgers, chicken sandwiches)

We will have frisbees, dodgeball, handball, and DOOR PRIZES

Basically the same post from earlier just this time, SBA has taken the liberty of believing weather.com and moved the event from the park to the Law School. This means three things:

1) Do not attempt to bring a cooler of beverages
2) Do not attempt to bring loaded guns
3) In the off chance we aren't outside, there is always this game:

In case you're wondering . . . I was sent this picture after telling a classmate the croquet set in the student lounge is simply for show.

Rankings Update

I made a few ranking predictions here and in case you weren't already aware, I don't know my ass from a hot rock. Here are the rankings that appear to have been leaked two days early, here is Osler's commentary, and here's how I did:

As you can see, (or not see since it's blurry) I am not particularly good at anything.

In other relevant news to students at BLS, Houston moved up ten spots to 60th and UT dropped two spots to 18th.

More importantly, Petra Nemcova is no longer dating Toolbag McShitforface and has once again proven the power of prayer.

Acknowledging its relationship-destroying-ability, FromMalibuToWaco Law Review for Sexy People has added a poster of Athina Roussel to the wall because, let's face it . . . the only thing sexier than Petra Nemcova is this girl and 2.4 billion dollars.

Law Day Picnic?

Since I really don't want to do homework, would someone like to tell me more about this? I got an e-mail reading simply:

Law Day Picnic
Saturday, March 31
12:00 to 4:00
Cameron Park East (on MLK)

Free Law Day t-shirt for
the first 160 people!
Lunch catered by Double R (burgers, chicken sandwiches)
We will have frisbees, dodgeball, kickball, and DOOR PRIZES

Questions:

1) What is Law Day?
2) Who is Double R?
3) Do we need to sign up teams for dodgeball?
4) Is this a family event?
5) Is this the same Law Day I've heard terrible things about in the past?

The 4Q's Do Law Review

Congrats to Tom Jacob, Ann Weber, Rachel Appelman, Dr. Gu Ping Da and Jessica Hart on making Baylor Law Review.

While certainly a noble accomplishment, this is not to be confused with the far more exclusive, albeit less prestigious, FromMalibuToWaco Law Review for Sexy People; an avant-garde publication that has replaced the faculty advisor and articles with a poster of Petra Nemcova and genuflection before it.

I'm currently the only member.

Antietam

I thought I was in his head, I thought I could psyche him out. But along those same lines I once thought I could both fly and save the world using only a bed sheet as a cape.

Prior to the round BC and I made a friendly bet that involved speaker points and this blog.

So . . . yea . . . if you see a blog post about me not being very well endowed or my face being far less attractive than that of BC's, you'll know we've gotten the ballots back and you'll know I've lost. You'll also know I'm totally lying because . . . well, let's face it; we all know those things aren't true. I have this picture as proof:


Did I mention B.C. is a master violist? If I didn't it's because I didn't have to. It goes without saying the sexiest man in the world will also be a master violist.

I'm Bringing the Pain

To call tomorrow the most important day of my life would be an understatement of titanic proportions. Tomorrow I go up against BC in the Moot Court competition and for those that don't know, he's kind of a big deal.

In case you've never experienced BC, I've provided this video, and this screen shot so you know which one he is. From 5:15 - 5:09 he keeps the audience riveted with his . . . with his, um . . . what I'm sure is debating brilliance.

In other words, I'm coming for you B.C.

And stealing from both With Leather and the now defunct Baylor Circus, I leave you with this:

Moot Court Round 1: FIGHT!

The first round of the beauty pageant that is moot court has come and gone. How it went remains to be seen but I apparently move a lot when I speak and use a Bill Clinton-esque thumb throw with reckless abandon.

I was on the Due Process issue for the Respondent and as I stepped to the plate:

Me: Your honors, may it please the court . . .
Judge: Counsel, before you start, I'd just like to know why this court has jurisdiction to hear this case?
Me: Well . . .

My first thought was we waived jurisdiction pursuant to the rules, but figured that wasn't an answer. Then I got scared, like we weren't really in Texas.

Me: Jurisdiction?
Judge: Yes jurisdiction, why can we hear the 6th and 14th Amendment issues today?
Me: Well . . .

After thinking about that one for a second I remembered the 6th and 14th Amendments were mentioned for the first time on appeal, so I made a brief statement about fundamental due process errors, inferring the 6th and 14th and ran.

And then there was something about Bills of Exceptions. I smiled at the judge and twelve minutes later it was over.

In other news, I took a move out of "The Chicago Playbook for Getting Pretty or Not Pretty Girl to Pull Your Plow and Harvest Your Grain" and made +1 the California Rolls pictured to the left. They were delicious and she thinks I'm clever. High Five!



.

Crim Pro Grades

4 A
2 A-
7 B+
5 B
3 B-
2 C+
5 C

The last grade of 1L and I live to blog another day.

Class Avg. 3.01

Wild West Bar Review

What's the hottest thing to hit Waco since the Alico Building? The answer is Wild West and the club has a website to prove it.

Located next to Crickets, the place boasts 12,000 square feet and a $500,000 interior. To quote the website:

"2-Steppin' & Long-neckin' is our motto," says Thompson and judging by the largest country dance floor in the area, he is dead on. Open Wednesday through Saturday, Wild West will feature 4 full service bars, a solid oak dance floor and over 8,000 watts of clean, crisp sound originating from a state of the art computer system manned by none other than Waco's own, DJ Eric "Animal" Nix."

Since this picture is of the DJ booth, I think it's safe to assume the one in the hat is "Animal.")

Positives:
- Some of the best drink specials ever.
- You can win money for singing karaoke.
- More undergrad females than you can shake a stick at.
- The Tootsie Roll and Macarena are played at least once a night.

Negatives:
- Huge lines (hour or more wait) from 9:30 - 12. (Before and after that it's generally fine).
- If a girl asks you to dance, she means two-step.
- $1 well drinks will make you feel terrible the next day.

As an aside to those not in law school reading this, I saw some drunken undergrad guy try to pass a really bad fake at which point he was arrested . . . in front of his girlfriend. I laughed till I cried.

Rankings Poll

Current Rankings put Baylor at 51, but the the new rankings will be out on March 30th, so this poll is open until then.



The rank is based off a combination of peer assessment, assessment score by lawyers and judges, undergrad GPA of entering class, LSAT scores, acceptance rates, student / faculty ratio, grads employed at graduation, grads employed after nine months, and the bar passage rate.

In other words, my NCAA brackets have failed me to the point I feel the need to guess about something else.

I'm predicting (51) Baylor moves up to 49. The reason is the continued high bar passage rate, what I'm thinking is a better student / faculty ratio, high caliber of fall starters and the blogs . . . obviously the blogs.

Conversely, (43) SMU will be sliding back to 48 or 49. I attributed their big jump last year to the Harriet Myers press, which later backfired on them. On top of that, I didn't like SMU when I visited. The school building itself was ugly. Also, as a student at Baylor, disliking SMU law is kind of what we're supposed to do.

Ranking the other schools I successfully applied to:

(26) Emory: Can't say anything bad about it so I'll guess 25.

(43) Hastings: Took a big slide last year and it's still under a lot of construction for earthquake protection. On top of that it's a very scary campus on about the worst road in San Francisco. I can't see it moving up in the rankings. I'll guess 44.

(51) Case Western: Incredibly nice admin. but they give tons of money to those with low GPA's and moderate test scores. Plus sitting in on its classes where nobody cared enough to read or talk, makes me think they won't be moving up. I'll guess 52.

(60) Villanova: Moving to 67. They are building a new school and their current place is a mess for the next two or three years, meaning it will be hard to get good students.

(60) Pitt: Staying the same.

(65) Loyola Law School: Took a big hit last year and I'm not sure it's done sliding. They started out not offering me any money but after realizing their apps were way down, they called offering me big bucks to hang out with them. I'll guess 68.

(87) Pepperdine: The school's ranking has been all over the place the last couple of years. It's an expensive school that doesn't give much money for grades but will give money for Church of Christ affiliation. I took a bunch of classes over there, dated one of the Dean's daughters, took the Dispute Resolution program, and witnessed for some of their trials; the only things that impressed me were the dispute resolution program's professors, the view and Dean Ken Starr. He is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, and works a lot with the students. Overall, I think the school's beauty will keep it attractive to good students but the bar passage rate will keep it from cracking 80. So I'll guess 81.

Because it's Fun to Care About Past Mistakes

I went to the driving range earlier, only to come home and discover I likely failed the form grade in LARC.

Question #47 on the Moot Court Competition website reads: "How many spaces should follow a period at the end of a sentence?"

The Answer: "One."

This is news to me . . . tragic news but news nonetheless. I don't get how that is correct, it doesn't make sense. I am writing this paragraph with one space after each period and it looks all wrong. It looks horrible. The two spaces are critical to legibility and I will change that for no one.

Other mistakes I found today include:
- Improperly underlined cites.
- Failure to use an en dash on one occasion when citing a page carrying over into the next.

Fortunately, my dot-leaders are beyond reproach and that's all that really counts.

UPDATE:

A horribly embarrassing mistake was made involving the naming of a case. I want to hide.

Waco We Do - Fishing

I got a chance to go fishing today and thanks to my good tour guide, Manzaneras, we found this really cool spot on the South Bosque. The impending storm made the fishing a little slow but good times were had by all. These pictures were taken with my cell phone so they aren't very good, but you get the idea.




































Weather.com tells me it will be awhile before I get to go again. Rain and thunderstorms are expected through Wednesday.

The Invitational Recap

Although Master & Commander B.C. failed to follow his own rules, the tournament was a great success and nobody got killed. Here are a few pictures to prove it.

Neighbors With Benefits lost its second round match to Ebony & Ivory (pictured below) and it was totally my fault. Bringing sexy back and making shots are apparently two totally different things.

Sure, this is the team that beat me, but why look at them when you can look at the background. Apparently the rules were so important they needed to be projected onto a wall.

If you weren't already afraid of A. Web, this is team Living In Sin after Josh misses a shot. When they eventually lost, Josh got what he knew he had coming all along.

These pictures serve no other purpose than to display how awkward Thomas really is. When you look crazier than a guy who has sex with dead animals, you probably shouldn't be allowed near +1.

In case you're wondering how a mountain man greets his fans, it's with a low placed thumbs-up accompanied by the words, "Yes my good man. My beard is thick and full like a bountiful harvest of yams."

This picture is actually from the last tournament but you get the idea. The Ninth seated Jolie & Her Boyfriend Gig beat nineteenth seated Illegal Science in the final round to come away champions. And if you're into happy endings, Gig won the tournament on his birthday.

B.C. Makes Rules That You Can't Understand

Click here to see why you're dumb. Better yet, click here and find out why B.C. will wake up with a penis drawn on his forehead.

LAPP Grades

A 4
A- 2
B+ 9
B- 3
B 3
C+ 6
C 1

In the words of my esteemed professor, [interpretive dance included]: "WOOHOOHO, NOT failing feels TREMENDOUS!!!!!!"

About Tonight . . .

Remember how I said law students aren't funny? Well you no longer need to take my word for it.

Tonight B.C. is having a beer pong tournament and apparently it's kind of a big deal. It's also apparently at my house and has something to do with our love of Prof. Property.

I only know what Facebook tells me and that is this:

- There are 24 teams

- Lower ranked teams will play in a partial double-octo round to play into the bracket.

- "The rules will be much different than normal house rules. [B.C. & Co.] will have the rules out by 8pm- YOU MUST PRINT THEM OUT BEFORE COMING TO THE PARTY OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED ONE CUP PER GAME. Don't make [B.C. & Co.] kick you out. [B.C. & Co.] are going to make property rules that are going to probably piss you off. For example: RAP- If the game is not completed 21 minutes after its start time, the partner with the shortest first name will be forced to switch sides and teams with the other partner with the shortest name. The new partners will become a new team and be forced to stay on the newly formed team for the duration of the tournament."

So yea, be on the lookout at 8 and in case you're wondering about the picture . . . +1 and I are Team: Neighbors with Benefits.

Immunity Day Recap

I could talk about last night's Immunity Party for hours . . . or not and say I did. Psych!!!

I'll talk about it.

It was at the zoo from 8 - 11 and as it turns out, monkeys will not wake up from the hours of 8 - 11, regardless of how loud the music. The bald eagles were awake as were some rat-like creatures, but not the monkeys. I learned this on my walk around the zoo. I didn't learn much else since it was dark, but after spending 3 minutes working up the courage to pet this giraffe it turned out to be a tree.

When I got back to the party, I ate some delicious Mexican food, drank a few drinks, mingled, and watched my fellow Pepperdine Alum dance like nobody was watching.

After two failed attempts to feed the catfish tortillas, Immunity Day concluded and people headed over to Treff's. Once again, another terrific Immunity Day and I can't thank the people of SBA enough for their efforts.

Contracts II Grades

A 13
A- 12
B+ 7
B 39
B- 10
C+ 5
C 8
D 1
F 0

Anytime I can congratulate the entire class on passing, I consider it a victory. Once again the curve comes out to almost a perfect 3.0.

About the Shirt Ideas

Here are your three options:

1) Serr-A-Thon Shirt:
Front: Baylor Law School Semi-Annual Serr-A-Thon

Back: Thank You To Our Sponsors
Hom’s Way Dry Cleaning

Blackie Toys

Katz’s Animal Day Care

Ohio Mapps
Wong Sun Tanning Salon

Schmerber’s Pub

etc…

This one is fucking terrible. It no longer makes a damn bit of sense. It's one of those inside jokes that not even the inside people get. And to put that on a shirt? People would be asking you about it, and to try to explain it would be really embarrassing because you'd have to first explain how it's funny to law students, and then, by the time you were done explaining the person would be walking away and you'd be chasing them down screaming, "YOU HAD TO BE THERE!!!!"

2) Pain and Suffering Shirt:
Front: Pocket: Baylor Law School

Back: If U.S. News Factored In Pain And Suffering, We’d Be #1

With all due respect to its author (Haley), I can't picture that slogan ever coming out of her mouth. It's like sooooooo positive. It's like I'm bitching but I'm not . . . because we are number one. Like rather than shirts we could put that slogan on big Styrofoam fingers and walk around, poking people till they get the point.

.

3) I Got Mugged Shirt:
Front: I GOT MUGGED…

Back: AT BAYLOR LAW SCHOOL (Picture of BLS Mug)

A mug joke? Really? I knew law students weren't funny but that is sort of a new level of absurdity. Like we are so proud of these mugs that we are going to make a shirt to commemorate the event? It's in line with having a shirt that reads: "I GOT SHIRTS . . ." and then putting a picture of the shirt they give you at orientation.

Maybe if we put a picture of the Where Fun Goes to Die shirt people looking closely might laugh . . . or just wonder why we make shirts about getting shirts.

_

And in case anyone cares, all things considered my vote goes to number two.

The Quickest Post Game Recap Ever

A fun game ending in defeat, Team Malpractice lost 9 - 12 to The Attenuated Taints. Although this loss comes as no surprise, it does come as a rude awakening that I should no longer bring +1 to the games in a misguided attempt to impress.

Some would describe my play as less than smooth; others have gone so far as to call it homoerotic. Either way, I'm not very good and our team win streak remains unchanged.

In other news, Immunity Party at the zoo in t-minus 20 minutes and as of today, I'm the newest member of the Baylor Law Trap and Skeet Club.

Friendly Reminder

Pei Wei, the fast food version of P.F. Chang’s, just opened on Valley Mills a few short hours ago. Expect long lines, delicious food, and a fortune cookie that reads something like, “Follow your dreams.”

Things to do Besides Blog

Tomorrow at 3:30 there’s a meeting with the trap & skeet club followed at 6:30 by softball, at which time Team Malpractice will be taking another stab at hand-eye coordination. Assuming that goes poorly, the teammates and I will be taking our losing streak over to the Cameron Park Zoo for Immunity libations and fajitas.

As for the LARC III brief due Friday, I’ve got it covered. Between Jigglesby-the-Briefing-Weasel and my harem of Consumer and Family Science majors, I gauren-damn-tee that brief will be chock-full of creativity.

And if you’re wondering whether or not I actually have a briefing weasel, the answer is yes. I have a briefing weasel and he is beautiful.

Wikipedia and the Law

Listen to enough law school humor and you’ll eventually hear, “you should cite Wikipedia in your brief” -- at which point you may simultaneously laugh and attempt to off yourself. The weird thing is it’s no longer just a bad joke.

This New York Times article talks about courts citing Wikipedia and I’ve taken the liberty of pulling this short exerpt:

“A simple search of published court decisions shows that Wikipedia is frequently cited by judges around the country, involving serious issues and the bizarre — such as a 2005 tax case before the Tennessee Court of Appeals concerning the definition of “beverage” that involved hundreds of thousands of dollars, and, just this week, a case in Federal District Court in Florida that involved the term “booty music” as played during a wet T-shirt contest.
More than 100 judicial rulings have relied on Wikipedia, beginning in 2004, including 13 from circuit courts of appeal, one step below the Supreme Court. (The Supreme Court thus far has never cited Wikipedia.)”


Wikipedia is great for me but is it good for the courtroom? Like today, I was reading this article on Deadspin which reads in part, “Ricky [Williams] is dangerously close to the ability to autofellate.” Not knowing the word “autofellate” I did much in the way of research. [Don't click if you don't want to know].

So yea . . . thanks to Wikipedia I now understand Ron Jeremy's rise to fame and more importantly, the reason you don't click random links in public.