The Law School Celebrates This Guy

Tomorrow night is the Immunity Party and EP's 24th. If your a PC student with $35 to spare and an attitude that wreaks of "Fuck It," go to Austin's and watch EP perform the magic trick of turning advocacy scholarships into Jagerbombs.

He's like an Italian, ambulance-chasing, David Blaine

Poor Use of Authority

Reputable sources indicate that SBA will be prohibited from allowing a cash bar at future law proms. This should be immediately added to the Wikipedia page in a special section called, “If you’re still thinking about coming here.”

This Guy Must Interview Well

Once upon a time, Baylor needed someone to teach Renaissance literature to hundreds if not thousands of blossoming, young students. After what I presume was an extensive search, someone decided on hiring the man seen here.

According the WacoTrib, that was probably a poor idea.

Some Lawyers Are So Hot Right Now

Today’s career adviser informed us that we should be using Twitter to expand our network of friends and collogues. Unfortunately, judging from my browsing, lawyers on Twitter are just as shitty as 12-year olds on twitter.


For those of you who can’t read the screenshot from LexTweet, LegalAdmin writes: “I think my bus driver has o pee! He's driving REALLY fast!!! LOL.” This is immediately followed by Lawgurl announcing that she has “Achieved level 21 http://140mafia.com #140mafia” and “Just completed a Hired Assassination job http://140mafia.com #140mafia.”

For some reason I don’t think Prof. Powell would be impressed.

A Poor Use of Alone Time

This post is totally irrelevant but so is my life considering I’m blogging at 11:30 on my birthday.

Anyway, last night I had a dream I was re-judging the voir dire and it basically consisted of me overruling Geraldo based on two hours of Strike for Cause lecture and a distinct feeling I was going to fail.

GRP: Objection. That’s clearly a commitment question, your Honor.
Me: Overruled based on the teachings of Robert Swafford.
GRP: Judge Schwannburg. I want you to take judicial notice that Robert Swafford will applaud when you finish speaking while I on the other hand will fail you.
Me: It’s my understanding that you aren’t even a lawyer in this case. Please continue Mr. Hatchet.
Hatchet: So would you have a hard time awarding damages for injuries that don’t have receipts?
GRP: Commitment question your honor!!
Me: If Robert Swafford was here right now he’d think you were an idiot.
GRP: If Robert Swafford were here right now we’d be talking about opera and ass hats.

Then the GRP allowed me to wake up before finding out what happened and I remember feeling like that was really nice of him. So thank you to him and everyone else who wished me a happy birthday.

Next Week’s PC Schedule, Awesome

Monday - 6/22: PC III Lecture - Professor Powell
Tuesday - 6/23: Guest Speaker - Amanda Ellis: "Prevailing Over the Recession: Job Search Strategies in a Tough Economy"
Wednesday - 6/24: Confrontation Clause Lecture - Professor Counseller
Thursday - 6/25: No Class
Friday - 6/26: Guest Speaker - Mike Berry: "Settlement Value of Cases: How to Assess it"

How Do I Know I’m a D-Bag?

Today as judge I granted a strike for cause that inadvertently burned the jury, failed to invoke rule 235 when given the chance, and helplessly confused the lawyers. This led to Hatchet losing 5 points off his PC grade and the GRP requesting a redo on the entire exercise.

I’ve never felt worse about myself as a person or a law student.

Update:

The GRP decided he didn’t want to hear another Voir Dire.

Instead the lawyers were assigned opposing sides of a divorce case and instructed to research a specific issue related to the rendition of judgment. I’m supposed to take the letter briefs, make a decision as a matter of law, and tell the class on Friday why I decided the case the way I did. FML.

Sexy Back on Aisle 4

After going through Schaper’s wedding pictures, it appears I dance with a certain intensity that screams out, “I am a blogger and this is my shopping cart!”


For those of you upset by the lack of posting over the last week, I apologize. You care more about this site than I do.

PC II Grades

A 3
A- 3
B+ 4
B 6
B- 20
C+ 8
C 7
D 1
F 1

How Do I Know Jim Wren is Teaching Class Tomorrow?

It’s 11:30 and I have about 200 pages left to read. He’s like the Santa Clause that wears pinstriped double breasted suits and puts memos in your stocking.

Some Top Guns Ride Slow

Cloutman and Hatchet were both better than I’ll ever dream of being but in the end, without much pomp or circumstance, Powell told Hatchett he was the loser and handed Street Justice a trophy worth $3000 and a check worth about the same.


As the defendant in the case listening to my attorney’s epic closing, I understood why people that do bad things pay exorbitant fees for great lawyers. As a person that has trouble remembering his own name, I'll never understand how this blog post is twice the length of Cloutman's trial notes.