Statutory Analysis of Interspecies Erotica

Allow me to pull some excerpts from tonight’s LAPP assignment:

“Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.”

“If convicted, Hathaway could serve a prison term of up to two years because of a previous conviction. In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal.”

I've taken the liberty of finding Mr. Hathaway's picture and it appears to me that he shapes his eyebrows.

Maybe it’s just the picture’s shadowing, but I find it queer that one who engages in coital relations with a menagerie of road kill takes the time and effort associated with metrosexual grooming. I guess I was expecting a more rugged look.

You know, something like this.