Killing The Sexy

After today’s contracts I’m convinced if Chicago wants to make the big bucks he should drop out of law school and teach sex-ed to children; he has a rare gift for administering mental castration. The most un-horny of words kept flying out his mouth, and although someone tried to stop him, he defiantly marched on.

Parents, if you want to teach your kids about the birds and the bees, use such words as:
carnal knowledge, coitus, fornication, generation, relations, courtship, cohabitation, copula, or sexual congress.

Your kids will have no clue what you are talking about, but it won’t sound fun and they’ll probably be scared; especially of coitus and copula. If by chance you want to describe a couple that lives together without sin, Chicago says to use the word, “cohabition.”

The word sexual congress could have led me into a story about LAPP but I quoted him yesterday, and I can’t do it two days in a row. Instead I’ll just say he followed some weird story of fornication and baby making with a story describing a Supreme Court Justice as a “little dictator.”

And that reminded me of a joke I like to call:

“The Dictator”

Buckwheat and Darla were in school, and the teacher asked Darla, "How do you spell 'dumb'?"

Darla said, "D-u-m-b, dumb."

The teacher said, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

The girl said, "Buckwheat is dumb."

Now spell "stupid."

Darla said, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."

The teacher said, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

Darla said, "Buckwheat is stupid."

Then the teacher called on Buckwheat and said, "Buckwheat, spell 'dictates.'"

Buckwheat stood up and said, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e-s, dictates."

The teacher replied, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

Buckwheat responded, "Hey Darla, I may be dumb and I may be stupid but why don’t you tell the teacher how my dictates?"