Basic Tax Grades & Best Brief

A 2
A- 4
B+ 3
B 9
B- 4
C+ 3
C 2
D 1

Avg. 2.97.

In other, albeit less exciting, news, Jennie Bauman, Jessica Hart, Kami Keller and Abigail Toth each won a Best Brief award. This once again proving girls' brains are better suited to write legal briefs and guys' brains are better suited to write blogs lacking any semblance of scholarly repute.

Anyway, I have a Negotiables midterm tomorrow that methinks I'm going to study for.

T & E I

A 4
A- 5
B+ 12
B 29
B- 10
C+ 6
C 9
D 3
F 2

If you're looking at those numbers thinking they look worse than the now 2Q's Contract I grades, you'd be thinking correctly. With 3 D's, 2 F's and a mean of 2.78, the T & E I curve comes as a painful reminder to some that five units count more than four.

Robertson Got Married

Here he is throwing the garter:


Here he is dancing,

Here I am taking pictures with +1 in front of a gas station during his wedding.

I could go on for days about how every summer starter sans Becky accidentally missed the event. I could tell you about a faulty Google map or the time Thomas attempted to divine directions rather than ask. I could go on about how we drove around Crawford looking for a wedding in Waco or I could write about Boocher's hot sister. I could do a lot of things but I won't.

I'll simply congratulate Robertson, remind him we were the first people at the reception and on behalf of all summer starters, apologize for missing the wedding. We heard it was beautiful.

Apparently I Crossed the Line

Following Secured, I was approached by a PC student and for several minutes berated for my post entitled, "Kind of Like Reward Points." In sum I was told I've embarrassed myself, this school, and most importantly my professors.

Before I apologize, which I will, I must first ask one question. Why is anyone embarrassed?

Lexis hired Jacquelyn because she knows Total Litigator. She passed the NY bar, she practices in a field considered more difficult than most and she was the person best suited to teach the subject. What else matters? Do provocative pictures make her a bad person? Do they make her less intelligent?

She wasn't brought in to represent the school or any person in it; she wasn't brought in to instill a moral compass. Her job was to represent a good product and represented it well. That's exactly what she did . . . nothing more, nothing less.

I'm not Sherlock Holmes; I didn't uncover some mystery or intentionally out a scandal. I was writing about what I was told and made it clear I had no first hand knowledge of anything being discussed. The post was written because it was funny. It was funny because lawyers aren't known for being sexy. There was a joke in there. That's what I was going for.

Several people in PC told me I should expect to receive community service or eventually fail PC. I'll cross those bridges when the time comes, until then all I can do is apologize.

Almost Forgot

- Law Buddy Social was fun. For in-depth photojournalism of the night's happenings see Carver's revamped blog.
- Rain saved Schneider & Co.'s babies from being eaten.
- The now 2Q's got their Contracts I grades back in three weeks as promised. 2 F's, 1 D and an avg. G.P.A. of 2.79.

Kind of Like Reward Points

I don't know if any of part this story is true, so let's talk about it in the hypothetical. Let's say, hypothetically speaking of course, this lady walks in to your class touting the greatness of a product called Total Litigator. Seems like a sweet girl.

Hypothetically, you're sitting there politely, not really paying attention; you're hungry, you don't have money to spend regardless of the product, you're bored, you don't like Lexis, then, out of nowhere, people just start fucking screaming.

"I'll take three," "I'll take four," "I don't give a fuck. Take everything, just give me Total Litigator."

Hypothetically you perk up and look around the room. What just happened?

The answer is MySpace . . . MySpace happened.

While her About Me page says:

I'm an attorney specializing in trademark, copyright and patent infringement litigation. I've been at it for 8 years now.

Things don't get interesting till she starts taking her clothes off.

I picked this picture because of the 50 or so, this one seemed the most decent.

Why does she do it you ask?

it keeps me from feeling borderline suicidal at the thought that I spend most days rotting behind a desk as the last remnants of my youthful attractiveness dissipate with each passing hour. (OK, so I can be a bit melodramatic. But you try spending 10-12 hours a day writing briefs on pharmaceutical patent infringement and tell me how depressed YOU get!) Trust me, anyone in my position would crave some mindless activity. Not to mention, I'm very much a girlie-girl, who LOVES lingerie, stripper shoes, and basically any type of salacious garment or trampy outfit. :) I get pretty damn bored of suits and conservative 3-inch pumps everyday. So what better mindless hobby than one that also allows me to wear all the trashy things I love so dearly and occasionally get paid to be glamorous?

Glamorous indeed. And to celebrate this hypothetical situation, someone in PC came up with this:

Anyway, I wasn't even at the hypothetical presentation and I just bought my sixth Total Litigator.

Game Time

Tonight you're either going home with or without your law buddy. Odds are without but you never know. Maybe she'll be the kind of girl that likes the line, "So . . . how are classes?" or maybe she'll be the kind of girl that puts out for old outlines. Either way she's probably a winner.

Speaking of winners, volleyball intramurals start tomorrow at 6 and we'll be playing at the rec. center courts off MLK.

Team 1: (Garner) v. Team 2 (Kief)

Team 3 (Swanburg) v. Team 4 (Schneider)

Team 5 (McCuistion) v. Team 6 (Hightower)

The official rules state:
"Games will be four on four (you need at least two to play), you need at least one member of each sex, and it will be rally to 30."

The unofficial rules say that Team Schneider should be scared.

To quote Mike Tyson, “My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat your children. Praise be to Allah!"


What's that you say? This law school blog now has little to nothing to do with the actual study of law? That’s sounds about right.

Reminder

Are SBA events at Cricket's cliché? I don't know. Is it cool to hook up with your law buddy? Probably not. Are a few people going to try? You bet your sweet ass.

Tomorrow . . . 8:30 . . . Cricket's . . . Law Buddy Social.

Sticking with Drinking Sports

SBA will not be officially sanctioning soccer this quarter; something about only getting three teams to sign up and law students not having the ability to run. If by chance you still want to play, the fields at University Parks and Bagby will be hosting law school pick-up games on Tuesdays at 6 PM.

On related side notes, Beckham touched his penis and MBA students take their soccer very, very seriously.

And since I know you're not going to click the links:

Baylor MBA students participated in an annual U.S. MBA soccer tournament in Austin, TX, playing three games against teams from Northwestern, Yale, and Duke. The tournament was sponsored by the University of Texas at Austin MBA program. In the evenings, MBA students from different programs went to dinner in various restaurants to get to know each other better.

No word on how they played but I'm guessing the event had less to do with winning and more to do with 6th Street.

You Need a Job? The Dean has Your Back

In his e-mail, reprinted in portions below, Dean Toben solves all your problems:

"Friends, Professor Emeritus Matt "Mad Dog" Dawson . . . at the age of 91 is as sharp as a tack and still consults and researches for Dawson & Sodd in
Corsicana."

This is the PC Prof. that shanked students for shits and giggles, right? Go on . . .

Prof. Dawson, who lives in Waco, but who occasionally travels to Corsicana,desires the service of a law student who can serve as a driver so he no longer has to drive. . . . While he did not mention multiple drivers, this appears to
me to be employment that could perhaps be shared by a couple or three students
with proper coordination. Prof. Dawson prefers that the student(s) use their own
vehicle.

Did the Dean just create three jobs out of thin air, potentially going against the expressed wishes of a guy called "Mad Dog;" a man known for stabbing people? This is too good, there has to be a catch . . .

I do not know what the compensation would be, but Prof. Dawson is a generous and appreciative person.

So you're saying his shanking days are over and I'm going to get paid? . . .

Here is the real compensation to be had from this work: the privilege of being with Prof. Dawson and sharing time with him. Among an endless slew of honors he
has received in his career, he is, for example, one of the 100 lawyers named a handful of years ago as the most influential Texas lawyers of the 20th century.

Companionship as compensation? I tried using that line on a couple call-girls in my day but it's never worked.

If you would like to apply for this position -- one which I guarantee will be a lifetime memory -- please stop by and visit briefly with Heather Creed or
myself. We would like to get someone in place asap. Thank you for your consideration of this singular opportunity to be in proximity of a great man and a legendary lawyer. Best, BJBT

Sign me up. I'm sold. Can you imagine a job more thrilling than being in the proximity of a man named "Mad Dog?" I can't. But then again, I can't understand why anyone would think law students make inherently superior drivers than . . . oh I don't know . . . maybe a professional driver or the guy who delivers pizza.

(The messed up block quotes are Blogspot's fault)

Ask and You Shall Receive

In the comment section of the last post, a good number of people seemed "concerned" about job prospects out of BLS:

"[Baylor has] the worst employment at graduation of any law school
in the top tier."

"im sure we can all get jobs at the burger-doodle w/in 6 months of graduation."

"WHY DONT WE HAVE JOBS! i dont need a job handed to me on a silver platter. i don't expect CSO to hunt down jobs for me. i know ill have to do that on my own. but if baylor is so well respected (2nd only to UT i think someone opined) then why are people out there for 11
months looking for jobs!"

"I will say that it was my experience that unless you were a top 10%er and going to Baker Botts or at least one of the big Dallas/Houston firms, career services was worthless."

"photocopied address lists!"

For fear Kat from CSO's comment will go unnoticed, I'm reposting here. I'm pretty sure it's the best explanation you could ask for:

_________________________

Some background on the "numbers" used by U.S. News.

First let me say that this is a huge source of frustration for CSO folks everywhere. An uproar two years ago led to U.S. News reducing the significance of "at graduation" to 4% because the schools pointed out that state and federal govermental entities and state prosecutors do not hire until bar results are in. If you want to work for the State or prosecute, you will more than likely be an "after graduation" hire.

"Do we really have the worst employment rate of the top tiered schools?" Did anyone see the Texas Lawyer article where the dean of the U.T. law school attributed its drop in rankings to a "fluke" in the reporting of employment figures? The UT CSO had reported the graduates studying for the February bar exam as "unemployed; studying for the bar fulltime" instead of "not seeking." Actually, the UT CSO reported correctly. If you are unemployed and studying for the bar full time, you are just that...and there is a place to check on the NALP exit interview form that every law school uses that asks:

Employed?
Unemployed-Seeking employment?
Unemployed--Studing for the bar full time?
Unemployed--Not seeking?
The "unemployed/studying for the bar" was added a couple of years ago with the express instructions that the grad would still be considered "unemployed." (This has been dropped for 2007 and will go back to employed/seeking/not seeking.)

"At graduation": This is supposed to be the date you graduate. NALP sent out a memo that schools should be using the actual graduation date. Baylor graduates 4 classes a year. Some schools have students graduate in December, but only have one graduation ceremony in May. So they use the May date as "graduation," giving their grads 5 more months and the Feb. bar results to determine "at graduation." Is it honest? No. Is there any way to stop it? Not that I can think of because NALP (National Asso. for Legal Recruitment Professionals) has all the schools reporting on an "honor" system. The numbers reported are never verified by any outside judge.

One 4th tier school regularly reports "100% employed at graduation." Why? Because most of its students are parttime and have jobs while they are in law school. Thus, they are "employed" at graduation, but it isn't a legal job. U.S. News doesn't report what type of job. Is if full time legal? Bartending? (that would be full or parttime "non-professional")

In 2005 (which is what the most current U.S. News used for employment stats), 87% were full time legal, 4% full time professional or JD preferred; 2.5% were LLM students (which U.S. News reports as "employed". 1.5% were parttime professional (no bartending here). 2% unemployed/not seeking; 2.6% were unemployed/seeking. 68% of our students went into private practice vs. 48% nationwide.

More on the "honors" system. One school is reporting in the current U.S. News a median starting salary in private practice of over $130,000!! (This is not an Ivy League school reporting NYC salaries) These are numbers from the 2005 employment stats, before the huge firms bumped their salaries to $140,000. Well, look at the percentage reporting salary. This school is reporting less than 25% of its graduates salaries. Which salaries do you think they chose to report?

What percentage of grads are reporting? Baylor reports almost 100% each year. To Anonymous 12:46 who hasn't contacted the CSO and yet we report you are employed? You bet we reported you. You are listed on the State Bar website with the name of your firm. If not that, you are listed on your firm's website. If not that, one of you law school friends has let me know where you are working. Or one of the profs has your info. Google and Facebook are also helpful. (Even old people like myself know how to use these tools.)

Eric S.: You haven't exactly beaten down my door for assistance, have you?! I can't do much if you don't come into the office! And employers do look at rankings. (Did I mention that 40% of the U.S. New rankings are based on less than 2,000 ballots (and even fewer responses) from all the practicing attorneys in the U.S....less than .ooo6%). I am not a fan of these arbitary rankings, but you are better off with Baylor as a top rank.

All this said, job hunting is a pain in the behind. About 30% of Baylor grads get their first jobs through Fall OCI (the national average is less than 25%). (This is also not a statistic reported by U.S. News, but in checking with sister schools like SMU and Tulane, they also place about 30% through OCI). So that means the majority of students, whether at Baylor or not find their first job through job postings, referrals from profs, networking. It's not an easy venture. It's time consuming and hard on the ego.

If you haven't logged into BEARister, please do. Your username is your baylor email (the full thing with @baylor.edu) and your default password is baylorlaw. You can change that when you log in. You can look at our posting. You can also look under "resumes and documents" and go do "document library." Various links to job sites. Among them the Intercollegiate Job Bank to check postings in all 50 states.

If you haven't come by the CSO, email me and come by. I can't make a job magically appear, but I may have suggestions or resources you haven't yet tapped.

Sorry to go on and on. If you have questions about what is reported and what it means, please email me at kat_logue@baylor.edu.

Katherine Logue
Baylor CSO

Unnecessary Advice

Today, a prospective student named Rodney sat in on two classes: 9:15 Antitrust and 10:30 Secured Transactions.

Two problems with this.

1) Antitrust has six people.
2) Secured is apparently filled with disgruntled PC students.

Before class, a guy to my right turned around and this conversation ensued:

Guy 1: Are you a prospective student?
Rodney: Yea, I should know where I'm going by the Spring.
Guy 1: Don't come here. I'm being totally, 100% serious. This place is horrible.
Me: It's not that bad. I personally love it here.
Guy 2: Don't come here unless you know you want to do Litigation. Otherwise run.
Rodney: Do you want to do litigation?
Guy 2: No.
Me: No.
Guy 1 & 2:[Looking at me] You can't even talk. You haven't been in PC. [Looking at Rodney] Coming here will be one of the biggest mistakes of your life.

In other words, some people are assholes. I can't understand the mindset; I can't understand their point of view. PC sucks, sure. I get it. As Wikipedia tells me:

"Baylor Law students are required to stand when speaking and to pass the
notorious Practice Court program (where an average night's worth of reading will be 300+ pages in addition to various advocacy exercises)."

No one says it's not tough but it's only 18 weeks . . . about 1/3 of your entire year . . . two ninths of your law school career . . . 0.49% of your entire life if you live till the age of 70 . . . .

If you want to chop off your nose to spite your face, fail the Bar. Until then, take Practice Court for what it is: a short, hard stretch of life that won't make you any worse off in the end.

The 1Q's Pick a Name

A cursory glance at the sign up sheets has informed me that the 1Q's will be playing soccer under the assumed name, "W.J.C. United."

The striking resemblance to my admittedly poor proposal of yesterday is uncanny.

Summer Intramurals

Soccer: the sport made famous by David Beckham.
Volleyball: a sport designed for inebriated beach goers.

Together they comprise this quarter's intramural lineup.

If you are a person 18 and older with a modicum of talent, heart, or silicon enhanced accoutrements, I'm looking for teammates. My intramural record (1 - 50) is by no means indicative of my ability as a person and I will treat you with the dignity, respect and compassion you deserve.

As for team names, I'm open for suggestions. BLS United for soccer? The Sexy Spikers for volleyball? I don't know. Sometimes sexually connotative law school jokes escape me. Sandy Taints? Rainmakers? I don't know.

Happy Mother's Day

Though she once sang Happy Birthday to the four-year old version of myself on the morning of April Fools and flushed my five-year old head in a toilet, I appreciate my mother for being a generally kind person.

She's the only one I'll ever have and I love her.

Have You Seen a 1Q?

I have yet to talk with one myself. My belief in their existence stems from the sole fact they have a Facebook group.

If you're a 1Q or you know someone that is, feel free to leave a comment and tell us your story.

We'd love to hear from you.

Thomas Thinks You Suck

And he's flaming.

Post B grade cat porn and he'll give you an eyeful . . . a big, flaming eyeful.

A Bad Day to be my Friend

Besides Olympic figure skating, nothing makes me happier than finding a good Brokeback- Photoshop on Facebook.

If you know these three you're probably laughing. If you don't, you're probably wondering if they look this sexy in real life.

The answer is no.

The rugged homosexual look has done wonders for the front two while the horizontal pose works well for the man in green. I was going to say man in the rear but I'm better than that.

I'm also better than linking to Britt Clark's blog but I've gone there anyway.

While he tells me posts will be limited to about one per week, he assures me they will be strong, powerful, heartfelt messages, designed to uplift the downtrodden and motivate the less fortunate.

Enjoy.

BLS Grads Make it Rain

Baylor's most recent 100% Bar passage rate is pretty neat and really, really impressive.

The accomplishment inspired UT Law to issue shirts reading:

Front: "They get lots of practice passing bars in Waco . . ."
Back: (picture of a car driving past Showtime) "Because they all suck."

The shirts were handed out at one of UT's infamous racist parties, celebrating both the school's tremendous reputation and 79% bar passage rate.

To be fair though, it's my journalistic duty to report that I could be wrong; I could have made that up.

I don't know. Maybe 21% of UT Grads are the mucker / grinder types that work night jobs through law school, doing really well in class only to get sick the big day. Maybe the test was hard. Maybe they exposed their genitals during the exam. I don't know.

The Glove Business

Sixty-five-year old dentist walks up to me at the show and asks about some gloves:

Him: I need a glove, non-latex no powder. I don't like the Elastex.
Me: How about the Ultra Sense
Him: Sounds like a condom.
Me: I didn't name it.
Him: What did the five penised man say when he tried on the Ultra Sense?
Me: (blank, yet knowing, stare)
Him: Fits like a glove!!!!!

A few thousand condom related sex jokes later the show was over.

Me, a cast member of Dancing with the Stars and Swanburg's Mom embracing the glove business.

P.S.

Swanburg's Mom apparently loves Baker and has sent me back to Waco bearing a gift that has nothing to do with gloves, condoms, Jerry Rice or sex jokes.

Some Float Better Than Others

Sunday following finals, a bunch of people including myself went floating. Here are just a few things I learned.

Do: Bring a 16 quart cooler.

Don't: Let this guy touch it.

Do: Bring both a 16 quart cooler and your girlfriend. Don't: Let Chicago have his hands on both at the same time.

Do: Post any and all pictures of The Manz.

Don't: Accuse him of being anything less than ferocious.

__

As a side note, I'm in California till the 6th working with Jerry Rice and Pete Rose, selling medical gloves at Disneyland. True Story.