You Need a Job? The Dean has Your Back
In his e-mail, reprinted in portions below, Dean Toben solves all your problems:
"Friends, Professor Emeritus Matt "Mad Dog" Dawson . . . at the age of 91 is as sharp as a tack and still consults and researches for Dawson & Sodd inThis is the PC Prof. that shanked students for shits and giggles, right? Go on . . .
Corsicana."
Prof. Dawson, who lives in Waco, but who occasionally travels to Corsicana,desires the service of a law student who can serve as a driver so he no longer has to drive. . . . While he did not mention multiple drivers, this appears to
me to be employment that could perhaps be shared by a couple or three students
with proper coordination. Prof. Dawson prefers that the student(s) use their own
vehicle.
Did the Dean just create three jobs out of thin air, potentially going against the expressed wishes of a guy called "Mad Dog;" a man known for stabbing people? This is too good, there has to be a catch . . .
I do not know what the compensation would be, but Prof. Dawson is a generous and appreciative person.
So you're saying his shanking days are over and I'm going to get paid? . . .
Here is the real compensation to be had from this work: the privilege of being with Prof. Dawson and sharing time with him. Among an endless slew of honors heCompanionship as compensation? I tried using that line on a couple call-girls in my day but it's never worked.
has received in his career, he is, for example, one of the 100 lawyers named a handful of years ago as the most influential Texas lawyers of the 20th century.
If you would like to apply for this position -- one which I guarantee will be a lifetime memory -- please stop by and visit briefly with Heather Creed orSign me up. I'm sold. Can you imagine a job more thrilling than being in the proximity of a man named "Mad Dog?" I can't. But then again, I can't understand why anyone would think law students make inherently superior drivers than . . . oh I don't know . . . maybe a professional driver or the guy who delivers pizza.
myself. We would like to get someone in place asap. Thank you for your consideration of this singular opportunity to be in proximity of a great man and a legendary lawyer. Best, BJBT
(The messed up block quotes are Blogspot's fault)
posted by Jon Swanburg @ 3:46 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
That's Basden's uncle.
Hilarious!
Dawson's last appearance at BLS was quite memorable-- after the PC "Top Gun" tournament, he spent 30 minutes telling the winners how much they sucked, in great detail. It was pretty horrifying and boring all at the same time.
lol. Driving Mr. Mad Dog.
Swanburg, I tell you this will 100% sincerity. You MUST go for this! You could be the man to cart The Mad Dog around in your fun little Saab ragtop, the old man would LOVE IT! Seriously, I’m in PC and taking the bar in July, but I am seriously considering applying to be on call 24/7 for this. I can just imagine… I’m sitting in PC3. My phone rings. Prof. Wren turns slowly to me, venom in his eyes. But before he can berate me, I spring to my feet and exclaim "I must GO! Your old PC mentor, THE Mad Dog Dawson is calling!" With that, I bolt from the room. GLORIOUS!
God, your life must suck
Is Mad Dog going to sign an indemnity agreement so you don't have to face him or his estate if something "goes terrible wrong?" Will you be an independent contractor or an employee? Do you need a commercial license (chauffeur)? See the trouble youget when employing a soon-to-be lawyer?!?
Is the job open to alumni?
Rumor has it that the Mad Dog used to ride 1Ls to work every morning. He had a special saddle made that he would hitch to the back of a barely-consenting 1L and he wouldn't spare the poor student the spurs on his boots if he stopped for red lights or water.
Also, the Mad Dog would ask for volunteers on the first day of PC for who wanted to be his "ash tray." Believe it or not, this was a great honor; to have Dawson dispose of his cigarette ash and butts in a 3L's coif.
That's awesome.
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