I’m Watching You

Facebook has become a vade mecum of sorts for most college students and some professors. By providing a discreet forum for efficient stalking and social climbing, Facebook has changed the way people interact and has emerged as an essential part of daily life.

Today, the Baylor Law community was shocked, scared, and confused when they logged on to see the newest “facelift.” The newest features allow users to take stalking to a whole new perverse level with constant updates of every users’ every move.

For example:

The first thing I see is my friend from Pepperdine just started dating this girl that looks great in a bathing suit.

I become intrigued.

Based on all of their wall-to-wall interaction you’d think they were in love but he’s in the group that encourages promiscuous sex, while she is in the waiting till marriage group and her favorite quotes are all Psalms. At this point I was confused so I kept going. After some more research I discovered that she is drinking in a bunch of pictures and she has been writing all sorts of nasty things on her girlfriends’ walls. Based on all the evidence, I’ve determined beyond a reasonable doubt, that some girl I’ve never met is being tagged by a guy I hung out with three times as a sophomore.

But if everyone is a stalker none of us are.

UPDATE:

In under two days, over 270,000 people have joined a group to protest the newest feature.

To put it in perspective, that number of people is larger than the population of 51 countries, and is quickly looking to surpass the entire population of Wyoming. If the good people of Facebook don't do something soon, I expect nothing less than a hostile takeover.