Congrats College Grads

Congrats too many of my fellow 1Q’s that officially graduated from undergrad today. You are part of the incredibly small but elite group that can say they were enrolled in both undergrad and law school simultaneously.

One day when your kids are crying, because they fucked up their finger painting, you can say:
“You think your life is tough? I walked back and forth between Quantum Physics and Torts, uphill both ways during the summer months of Waco. If I hadn’t done that I couldn’t have afforded those clever little finger paints you clearly don’t appreciate, so stop. Just stop. . .you’re pathetic. Profs. LARC and CivPro would have kicked you out of the house long ago.”

Basically, nobody will ever be able to one up you again. When the 'children of tender years' start complaining, “. . . but you don’t understand, the school is really hard and the teachers are mean.” You can just laugh. If you feel like wasting the breath you can reminisce about the time you lost 10% of the class after orientation, but that won’t be necessary. Your offspring will have learned to fear you long before they are able to talk.

Anyway, hopefully I’m kidding. . . I doubt your children will ever fuck up a finger painting; They'll know better.

My mother is coming for a visit tonight. Just in time for Mother's Day. How thoughtful.