Orientation Ends

After eight hours at the Baylor ropes course, MBA Orientation came to an end. While the event, minus the rock wall, was miserable, I learned one thing beyond a reasonable doubt: lawyers and business people think nothing alike.

First, most of the events were controlled by two ambiguously worded sentences that constituted rules. The basic conversation went like this:

Person in Charge: "You can't do that."
Me: "The directions don't say we can't do that."
Person in Charge: "That's not the point."
Me: "Is the point to follow the directions?"
Person in Charge: "Yes."
Me: "Well if we aren't breaking them, aren't we following them?"
Person in Charge: "No. You are wasting time arguing when you should be doing."

Second, part of the day's activities involved building boats out of materials the teams earned throughout the events and racing them. The materials included: splintered-exposed-nail-infested pallets, 30 gallon drums, PVC pipes, tarp, duct tape, tubes, rope, paddles, and flags.

Each team was forced to load the raft to maximum capacity, place it into a Godforsaken body of water and race. An Indian classmate of mine described the pond best when he nervously shouted, "Be careful . . . I think I'm standing in manure."

Needless to say, we placed our death trap of a raft in the sludge and quickly punctured an integral inner tube on a large, sharp piece of rebar hidden beneath the water's surface. As ropes and duct tape gave out, body parts were pinched between folding pallets and people were left to swim.

Most unbelievably they never asked us to sign waivers and classes start tomorrow at 8 AM.