Celebrate Like a Masochist
Updated (click to enlarge)
When Brit told me he wanted a birthday party, I recommended Chucky Cheese . . . turns out he’s Muriphobic. So after what I’m assuming were hours of thoughtful contemplation he instead decided on a beer pong tournament to be held at my house this Saturday evening.
From what I gather, it will be a 16 team, single elimination event with awards for best dressed and best shit talking. The games start at 10:30 and will be played on two tables. Even if you aren’t on a team, feel free to come over and hang out.
And in case you were wondering, Prof. Contracts respectfully declined Big Momma Watkins offer to come play, therefore eliminating the incredibly promising team Batesifer.
*Ed. Note - Baker, you will notice I teamed you up with Bell. There was a scheduling conflict and Brit booked a few teams before I got you your own. Feel free to change the name.
**If any player is a no show, they can be replaced by a player of equal or lesser value. The player’s value is to be determined by the same three people who ranked the teams initially.
From what I gather, it will be a 16 team, single elimination event with awards for best dressed and best shit talking. The games start at 10:30 and will be played on two tables. Even if you aren’t on a team, feel free to come over and hang out.
And in case you were wondering, Prof. Contracts respectfully declined Big Momma Watkins offer to come play, therefore eliminating the incredibly promising team Batesifer.
*Ed. Note - Baker, you will notice I teamed you up with Bell. There was a scheduling conflict and Brit booked a few teams before I got you your own. Feel free to change the name.
**If any player is a no show, they can be replaced by a player of equal or lesser value. The player’s value is to be determined by the same three people who ranked the teams initially.
***To save space, my team name was shortened down from Gangster Cowboys Living Violently to simply, Gangster Cowboys
****The post’s title comes from the fact Brit is going to be spending his birthday party getting his ass whooped.
posted by Jon Swanburg @ 8:32 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
I even got myself a teammate and everything. I told you Fat Drunk and Stupid was ready to go. I am Fat, I found a Drunk, Bell can be Stupid. Is that ok with you, Bell?
We'll do a three man rotation.
Few things
1) Swanburg is an official badass for hosting such a large tournament. Mad props on being so generous when I asked to throw a party at your place. You're like a mix between Quagmire and Van Wilder.
2) I will not be getting my ass whopped. I'll be seeing Ann and Josh in the finals. Have fun in your quarters battle with Schaper. You won't even roll your ways to the semis...
Swanburg, c'mon on. . . commas are crucial. You turned our classic trash talk team name into a cheap-sounding proposition. . . I think I like it.
you put me and tom v a-web and josh in the first round? what kinda shit is that?
I've never seen anyone butcher my name so badly!
First and foremost, I did not write the bracket; blame the spelling and punctuation on Brit.
Second, Bell has been moved to a team with Tim, replacing Dom. Their team name is "Big Men, Little Shirts"
Baker and his teammate will be playing under the name "Fat Drunk and Stupid"
Third is a note to Thomas. We ranked A. Web first, we ranked you last. It was more of a personality contest than anything.
I'm guessing you picked to go up against Shlea and I bc you thought it would be an easy ticket to the next round.... you're probably right.
I was saddened by my failure to make the list.
Very saddened
Love,
Matt
Lindsay, blame Brit and A Web. I ranked the Gangster Cowboys Living Dangerously at #1. That would have put me against Daytime Friends Nighttime Lovers in the first round.
Be warned however, I've read the scouting report. I'm on to your tricks.
Matt, thats what you get for missing Wednesday night.
Post a Comment
<< Home