Baylor Undergrad Suffers Early Onset Alzheimer’s
Remember back in the day, how you’d go on those Sunday night benders and drive around till you forgot where you lived? Remember how sometimes you’d get so messed up that you’d park in the wrong driveway and then just take a random guess as to which apartment was your own? Remember how you’d get really stoned and spend the next five hours repeating, “Then how come monkeys haven’t evolved into humans by now?”
No? Well then you and my neighbor’s friend may have absolutely nothing in common.
To make a long story short, someone blocked my driveway and I missed today’s CrimPro. I took my revenge in the form of a note that read simply:
“Thanks for blocking me in. As strange as it may sound, I keep a car in the garage and not a bicycle, Segway, or space-age flying machine as you may have originally conjectured. I missed my 9:15 class.
Thanks,
-Jon; Unit 628.”
Kind as he was, the perpetrator took my note and gloriously waxed poetic across the back, carefully placing it on my front door:
“Sorry man. I would have totally moved my car this morning but I couldn’t find it. I guess I drove hear [sic] and walked home. If it makes you feel better I missed my class too.”
[Unsigned]
All things considered, I have a lot to be thankful for. A guy like that could have easily mistaken my house for a large bird and who knows what would have happened then.
posted by Jon Swanburg @ 6:10 PM
20 comments
20 Comments:
Maybe you should get a bicycle
BS! You have too many compadres here who would come pick you up in a second. You live 2.7 mins from the school. Any one of us would've been late to help you out and you know it. Your creativity is quite impressive, my dear.
Uh, I don't even think Swanburg's mom calls him "My Dear". In fact, if I were to write a formal letter to Swanburg, I don't think I would lead off with "Dear Swanburg"...
1) I didn't open my garage until 9:07. By the time I was done staring at the situation it was 9:13.
2) I wasn't about to make a classmate late.
3) See the previous post. The situation was clearly a sign from God; a sign that I interpreted to mean I was only intended to sit through so much CrimPro in a single week.
4) My mother calls me Jonathan. Her formal letter would likely start out, Mr. Jonathan . . .
She hates the last name Swanburg. I once signed my name Jonathan Swanburg on a Mothers' Day card and she almost cried. The fact she must sign her comments on Osler's blog as "Swanburg's Mom" must pain her to no end.
She avoids the last name whenever possible.
haha....not the story i was told
Jonathan is right - I don't use the name Swanburg - that's another story. He could have walked to school. It would have been great execise. He could have asked one of his undergrad neighbors for a ride. His story is BS. Jonathan is a spoiled brat.
Wow, I don't understand the unmitigated rage. If I knew that's how you felt I probably wouldn't have gotten you that Mothers' Day card in the first place.
You didn't get me a card this year - but you gave me a great tour of Waco and bought me breakfast. Love Mom
I'd just like to note, this seemingly friendly comment was accompanied by a chiding personal e-mail, reading in part:
" . . .I am very mad that you missed you[r] class – granted your car was blocked but there were lots of alternatives – it doesn’t seem like you left yourself a lot of time to get to school - This is the week before finals – I don’t think that was a smart move – The day school was delayed instead of using the time wisely you choose to go back to bed. Since you publicize your lifestyle it doesn’t sound like you’re a committed student."
In other words my mother thinks poorly of me.
And I'd like to add, the day we were snow delayed, I was at school early. I talked to Osler in the student lounge - So there - Take that mother.
I am going to have to side with your mother here Swanburg. You're dropping the ball.
1. Everyone thinks poorly of you.
2. "Conjectured"??? What the hell? No one likes a show off...especially when you are showing off the fact that you have opposable thumbs and can hold and flip through a thesaurus.
3. Everyone thinks poorly of you.
Hey, you should have gotten up at 6 AM like I do...then you would have plenty of time to find alternative transportation arrangements-- Come on Mr. Swamburg- I hope you receive my advice on scheduling as gracefully as I attempt to absorb your advice on social protocol.
P.S. Ms. Turner, I enjoy your fiery temperment- it is a fine foil to my chilly manner
1) I will attempt to heed Chicago's advice.
2) My apologies to the anon. commentor whose comment I deleted. Although many may never see your words, they lived long enough to spark change. I went back into the blog settings and set the timestamp to the appropriate hour.
Ms. Swanburg's Mom (is that better?): It's true that he was inexplicably hanging around the student lounge at 8 am on the snow day. However, you are also right that this time around his lame-o excuse won't fly in attendance court.
For what it's worth, I missed class today, too, but I had a good excuse, plus I'm the professor.
Its very bad things that Park own cars front of House or Apartments. and off course its illegal activity.Once Upon I was in USA and where i was living Some one park his Car on my Apartment.I just Call at Blocked Driveway Towing.within 10 Mints They Come and Hi jack his Car and Everything has Clear.he was gave Heavy Plenty to That Company.
Thanks
Bernard Tyler
We Should always use parking when we want to need Park vehicle and Please avoid to do blocked driveway towing queens
We have Offer 24 Hours Roadside Assistance Service
For this cause, Blocked driveway become a huge problem arrived and is going to facing by the many car owners.REPOSSESSIONS JUNK CAR REMOVAL
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