An Exercise in Futility
Tomorrow I present my first opening statement as a PC student and I expect it to go something like this:
Me: May it please the court.Anything less than a memo and I’ll consider it a success.
Prof. Powell: Alright. You know how you hump the bed sheets, Son?
Me: Yes, sir?
Prof. Powell: Well I suspect your ancestor also humped a bed sheet or two and one of those bed sheets miraculously birthed you from its seams. Do you see what I’m getting at?
Me: No, sir.
Prof. Powell: Well you seem to be retarded – i.e. the bed sheet - and a sexual deviant – i.e. the sheet humper. Now continue with that opening and stand up straight. Your client expects you to advocate.
posted by Jon Swanburg @ 11:42 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Eh, for opening statements, you should probably pack a sack lunch, but you should otherwise be OK.
let powell talk and minimize your talk time. make sure that you don't do anything stupid. you will be safe.
Make sure you know the law that is applicable to your case. If your case involves any agencies or acts make sure you know about those too. That's really where the memos come from.
Yeah we were in there for 8 hours and only had one 5 minute break. Good luck with that!
that pic is awesome!
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