Pomp and Circumstance

The stage was set on the front lawn, overlooking Malibu and the Pacific, with Catalina Island off in the distance. Slightly overcast, with a cool breeze coming from the north, Pepperdine sent me off in a blaze of glory.
Jeffery Immelt, the CEO of GE a.k.a. (the guy trying to follow Jack Welch) gave a really terrific speech. He started with funny jokes about K-Fed, Star Jones, and the Donald, followed by a description of his nearly endless power and influence. After all, being the CEO of GE he knows which case to open on ‘Deal or No Deal’. Really, he does. They gave him a Dr. of Laws degree and made a point of saying something to the effect of ‘with this degree comes all the stuff that one with this degree is entitled to do.’ The man is the CEO of GE what wasn't he entitled to?
My Religion 101 teacher, Prof. Rick Mars, was given the job of reading out 850 or so names. He went flawlessly through the entire thing, not even blowing it on my friend Grit Jirakiratervandha. That’s his name and he is my friend, you can check out myspace or facebook if you don’t believe me.
My religion 201 teacher is moving to Waco the same day I am. I believe he’s taking over something in the Baylor library. He said if I didn’t contact him he has the ability to shut off my e-mail, so I won’t f’ with him. Nice guy, great volleyball player, and good teacher. If you see Crazy Carl Flynn roaming around, say ‘hi’.
In conclusion, I sun burnt the shit out of my face, tied up all loose ends with Pepperdine and I’m done. I had an unbelievable time as an undergrad and no STD’s to show for it.

P.S.
Baylor needs to get some PR people and an image consultant. I’m sick of hearing shit about Waco. Somehow it’s one of those places that nobody has been to but everyone knows about. I try to explain to people, “It’s not the middle of nowhere, it’s the middle of Texas” but most of my naïve classmates fail to see the difference.


‘Wac’ town in the morning.