Thursday, January 11, 2007

What Not to Wear

Classmate: “Swanburg, you should totally get your date a Mum?”
Me: “A what?”
Classmate: “OMG . . . WTF . . . YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A
Me: “Would James Bond get his date a Mum cause that’s kind of what I’m going for?”
Classmate: “It’s more of a homecoming thing but yea.”

A quick search of Google reveals that at least one of my classmates is insane . . . absolutely fucking insane.

Other than maybe Flava Flav, and the last place finisher in the Extra-Special Olympics, I can’t imagine anyone wearing this. Ever. Not even if MC Hammer wore this on the cover of Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt Em would anyone else have worn such a thing.

Garters and Mums. You people crack me up.


At 7:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he meant a corsage. Yes, you probably should get her one.

Too bad you missed out on the garter/mum frenzy. In junior high whoever had the biggest mum was most popular. One girl's mom supposedly spent $500 making hers--it had SEVEN mums. I'm not kidding.

At 10:15 PM, Blogger Alan said...

He/she's really not kidding. My aunt worked in public school administration - one year, this guy bought his girl a mum with BLINKING battery-powered christmas lights in the school colors.

At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, but my favorites were always the kind with candy glued to them. fun for weeks!

At 11:05 PM, Blogger ALV said...

Wow, did this ever take me back... Without a mum, you were basically a social outcast in highschool at homecoming. At my school, the coolest thing to have on your mum was a big freaking cowbell, I kid you not - the bigger and louder the better.

Another measure of your social superiority was how many safety pins you needed to pin that sucker to your bra (it had to be pinned to the bra - if it could be held up by just being pinned to your shirt, it was too light and didn't have enough crap dangling from it - making it pathetic, lame, and worthy of ridicule).

For what it's worth, my senior year mum is still hanging on my bedroom wall at my parents house because I think it's so pretty (unfortunately for my social status, I had about a bazillion jingle bells, not a cowbell. I, however, sounded the least like a cow when coming around corners).

At 5:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, you could never order your mums from Randalls or something bc it would look just like all the other girls' mums. That was really bad if you did that.

I finally parted ways with most of my mums. I gave about 10 of them away to the junior high to sell. They were pretty awesome and I think I cried a little when I dropped them off.

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Pargolo said...

Is this a southern thing? because i've seriously never heard of nor seen that thing before. the mchammer/special olympics comment made me crack up. It also looks like the sort of thing you hang around racehorses' necks when they win something. What do you get one of these things for? are they a special prize for something?

At 8:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bobbie Olson has about 6 of them. 3 remain hanging in her old bedroom here in Houston. I will try to find an old pic of her wearing one of them. Braces and all!!! ha! Jon, you are becoming Naturalized!

At 9:45 PM, Blogger Jon Swanburg said...

- Mrs. Olson,

I'd love to see a picture of Ms. Bobbie in one of these things. In fact I'd probably pay good money.

- Pargolo

It is certainly a southern thing, possibly only a Texas public school thing.

At 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It got pretty ridiculous at my school. The administration had to limit the number of mums you could put on there to a double mum. No one listened though.


Post a Comment

<< Home