This Wouldn’t Happen to Sam Crow

Hypothetically, if your expectations for Oktoberfest involved one reveler being stabbed at our bed and breakfast in an altercation involving a pastry dish, another losing fecal continence, another inadvertently making poor decisions with a married woman, and another being the victim of a mild gay hate-crime after appearing kind of gay, then Oktoberfest hypothetically could have gone pretty much as you thought.

It’s all fun and games until Miguel Galindo decides he's had enough of the scone dish.

Since I'm talking in hypothetical, the details of the event aren't worth public discussion, but if I’m going to keep friends that use the rule of omerta and Vin Diesel quotes as their only guiding life-principles, these kinds of situations are inevitable.