B-School Does Instant Gratification

A student hands something in and two hours later a number grade shows up on Blackboard. Considering I'm still waiting on law school grades from the summer I consider the speed and efficiency magical.

That isn't to say law school is all bad. Law league softball starts September 11th and is immediately followed on the 12th by Law Buddy Social at Poppa Rollos.

Being a JD/MBA is the best of both worlds.

New Study Shows 10-K Forms Unappealing

You ever order a regular textbook online and receive the Annotated Instructor's Edition instead? You do a little celebratory dance only to realize "annotated" doesn't mean "answers" and the book contains nothing special except blue notes suggesting further reading and approximate durations for review problems?

If you're me, you answered yes to both of those questions and you're currently asking yourself why the accounting professor hates you.

Applying my super-helpful annotations to tonight's homework, the assignment looked like this:

E3-3 10min
E3-6 15min
E3_8 10min
E3_9 30min
E3_11 30min
P3_23 30min
P3_35 240min

Unfortunately for Dr. Accounting Planning, Organizational Behavior had me writing a paper about a story called "Who Moved My Cheese" and Marketing Implementation had me reading cases about Raymond Mushroom and Arrow Electronics.

I'm not going to say which accounting problem I skipped but I saved myself four hours.

And if blogging about not having enough time to do homework isn't counterintuitive enough for you, I walked into the men's bathroom outside the graduate lounge earlier today only to discover it didn't have urinals . . . just toilets and really tall flush levers.

UPDATE:

After telling the Prof. how his assignment made me feel, he apologized, said he didn't realize how long the problem took and promised he wouldn't do it again. I love this place.

The Iraqi Map Shortage . . . or Something Like That

I know you've probably seen this already but you should watch it again.



Though this video has nothing to do with business or law school, that isn't the kind of thing I lose sleep over. What do I lose sleep over? The fact Ms. Upton finished fourth place overall and I can't find video of her in a bathing suit. I can only assume she looked both talented and dynamic.

First Week

Business school has proven itself more time intensive than originally promised. The first four days each included a combination of 12 to 13 hours of reading, writing, arithmetic, organization and career development.

It's different than law school, it's different than undergrad; business school is its own program with its own nuances. Maybe I'll figure them out after week two . . . maybe I won't.

In the mean time, the three day weekend gave me a chance to play golf, and like the champion he is, Phil Kief beat me at Connolly shooting a 6-under 66.

From nice calves and a matching ass to a sweet stroke and an IPhone, Phil Kief has it all.

First Impressions

Yesterday's first day of class came and went without event. Unlike this. Professors started out with introductions, provided a couple handouts and welcomed the students in their own special way. Prof. Accounting went so far as to supply free cookies while the others simply smiled and waved as a student walked in late.

Minus the apparent business casual dress code for grad students, the business school is a happy place. People smile and do homework together, they talk about things outside the confines of the classroom and they don't associate grades with jobs. We have our own private lounge replete with computers, printers, couches and tables; we have special corridors leading back to the bastions of undergrad hedonism. I'm still figuring things out but after one day it's more than apparent: the business school is a happy place.

Orientation Ends

After eight hours at the Baylor ropes course, MBA Orientation came to an end. While the event, minus the rock wall, was miserable, I learned one thing beyond a reasonable doubt: lawyers and business people think nothing alike.

First, most of the events were controlled by two ambiguously worded sentences that constituted rules. The basic conversation went like this:

Person in Charge: "You can't do that."
Me: "The directions don't say we can't do that."
Person in Charge: "That's not the point."
Me: "Is the point to follow the directions?"
Person in Charge: "Yes."
Me: "Well if we aren't breaking them, aren't we following them?"
Person in Charge: "No. You are wasting time arguing when you should be doing."

Second, part of the day's activities involved building boats out of materials the teams earned throughout the events and racing them. The materials included: splintered-exposed-nail-infested pallets, 30 gallon drums, PVC pipes, tarp, duct tape, tubes, rope, paddles, and flags.

Each team was forced to load the raft to maximum capacity, place it into a Godforsaken body of water and race. An Indian classmate of mine described the pond best when he nervously shouted, "Be careful . . . I think I'm standing in manure."

Needless to say, we placed our death trap of a raft in the sludge and quickly punctured an integral inner tube on a large, sharp piece of rebar hidden beneath the water's surface. As ropes and duct tape gave out, body parts were pinched between folding pallets and people were left to swim.

Most unbelievably they never asked us to sign waivers and classes start tomorrow at 8 AM.

Law School has Superior Intramurals

Turns out the business school participates in the undergrad intramurals. At first glance the previous sentence elicits visions of scantily clad co-eds tackling a young JD/MBA to the ground, pawing at his carefully positioned flags and nibbling on his delicate, albeit masculine, earlobe.

Alas, after excitedly running my dream passed the director of intramurals, I heard nothing but laughs and apologetic corrections.

As he described it, undergrad intramurals for the most part are single sex, prohibit the use of profanity and involve absolutely no drinking. "Last semester" he said, "a player yelled the term fuck on the football field and the graduate business team was forced to forfeit."

So the law school has that going for it. That and unlimited printing.

B-School Orientation: Day 1

Between the hours of 8:30 and 3 an assortment of people talked about various aspects of the Baylor Business School. Below is an excerpt from a conversation with a current student I had during lunch:

Me: So what is your average day like? How many hours do you spend working?

Student: Umm, well everyone is different. Some people are more or less concerned about their grades and some people have other commitments.

Me: Understandable. I'm just trying to get a vague idea of what to expect.

Student: Well I don't have any other commitments so I usually get to school around 9:15 and hang out in the lounge a little before class. After that I stick around until about noon and sometimes I go home and take a three hour nap. After that I sit on my couch watching television and doing homework. Some classes I don't do the homework because it's boring and it's easier if you just listen in class.

Me: So are you one of the people that care about your grades?

Student: Yea. A lot of people I know are just trying to get B's to get by and don't do much of anything.

If you're the kind of person that likes comparing apples and oranges, here is the quote from my law school orientation:

"If you have time to cry, you have nothing to cry about."

All things considered, Hankamer seems like a happier place.

Because My Mom Still Reads This

After weeks living the life of an ostensible flaneur, the blogging continues.