Sunday, July 29, 2007

Congrats to Yesterday's Graduates

Even though this video is the invocation from last quarter's graduation, since it shows up when you search "Baylor Law" in YouTube, it's my blogging obligation to post it on a somewhat related occasion.




Saturday's graduation had a lot of high points. Prof. Trail gave the key note speech, James Craig closed out the ceremony with an awesome opera performance, Prof. Contracts wore a suit, Dean Toben hated upon Prof. Cordon by replacing his name with the WJC's on multiple occasions, the graduates walked across the stage and degrees were handed out.

All in all it was a good event to celebrate a great accomplishment. Congratulations to all (particularly my law buddy) and best of luck in the future.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Lawyers are Broke Pigeon Heads

The below article may increase Baylor's attrition rate and the below article may be up so bright and early because I had to sleep in my car. The latter is neither here nor there and yea, 9:30 is early.

Anyway, thanks to a sexy reader's comment I give you this here article from the Houston Chronicle.

Enjoy. And this blog is no place for the car story. Ask me about it in person or forget it ever happened. Either way is cool.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Class Rank

Since I'm already blogging up a storm and this is the kind of thing people are into, the new class rankings are out.

Here is the link to the general rankings page.

And since I put up that first link it would probably be negligent for me not to include this one as well.

RR: The Man, the Myth, the Legend

The ConLaw final was Thursday . . . one week ago today. A four hour test, a bunch of essays, a couple multiple choice and yet somehow . . . someway, the RR made the impossible happen.

Grades, beautiful grades, came back earlier this afternoon:

2 A
7 A-
4 B+
9 B
5 B-
2 C+
2 C

Any attempt to put the speed of this pedagogical miracle into perspective will fall short, so rather than trying, I'll declare RR the People's Champ and leave it at that.
UPDATE:
Not to take away from RR, but it appears the Prof. Contracts got the K2 grades done in record time as well. Well done gentlemen.

From One Bar to the Next

To those that finished taking the Bar exam today, congratulations. For those that want to share in this evening's celebratory libations, I'll do my best to figure out where they'll be held and update this post accordingly. [The title of this post is genius.]

In the mean time, if you have a couple weeks on your hands and would rather get paid than not, e-mail NathanFlach@gmail.com:

Sorry to veer off topic Mr. Swanburg -- Baylor attorney here. Another '05 graduate and I hung a shingle right outa law school. Now we face more work that we can handle, at least over the next few weeks. Any bartakers want to assist us temporarily while awaiting your license? Would need you to start immediately. If interested, email at NathanFlach@gmail.com We [have an] office in Dallas, but will consider hiring someone to work remotely if no Dallasites apply. Pay is at the clerkship level – $700/wk. Thanks.


Judging from the comments in the post below, there are at least two people who won't be competing for the position. They don't want to sound arrogant but they will not work for $700 a week and felt you should know.

UPDATE:
It appears the Bar takers are currently imbibing at Crickets.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Sticking it to the Man

The business school portion of the JD/MBA is 32 units in two semesters. From what I understand I'll be taking 13 classes this fall for 17 units. The 17 units require 13 textbooks, the 13 textbooks, if bought mostly used from Baylor, require $961.50 and spending $961.50 on textbooks requires one to be a retard. I'm not a retard.

The above being true, I impolitely accused the clerks of attempting to engage me in a bout of coitus, stormed out of the store, went to Bigwords.com, and saved myself just over $500. Just thought you should know.

I also thought you should know that the business school doesn't have class on Fridays. Just putting that out there.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Tournament Update

Following Thursday's final, a pool party was held at L.L. Sams and consequently, several now 3Q teams found themselves too drunk to perform. This is the kind of thing I've come to expect from a handful of these individuals. When needed to stand tall, they go flaccid; when needed to marathon, they sprint. That's just what these people do.

That being the case, the impotent absentees were replaced with alternates, the show went on and good times were had by all.


I didn't take pictures of the event but I did have this dream where I was filming a porno and a scene called for Ron Jeremy but Ron Jeremy didn't show up so EP, my assistant, fills in but when I say action, EP turns into a 14-year old eunuch. If you can picture that, it's basically the same thing. Sort of.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Tournament Results

I write briefly only to inform the World that BC and I came away champions last night.

Team Congress broke Supreme Quart off something necessary and proper in the final to come away victorious. That's all for now. There will be more on the event when I get back from Lake Travis on Sunday.

In the mean time, keep it classy.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Post-Finals Festivities

With t-minus 19 hours until I'm done studying, BC gives you this to look forward to.


The First Annual RR Royal Rumble Beer Pong Tournament Rules:


1) Governed by Swanburg House Rules on the "North Star" table. No complaining or telling us how the rules are "back in Arkansas".
2) First 16 teams that sign up play. We cap at 16.
3) Placement of teams in the bracket will be randomly drawn out of a hat. If 16 teams do not sign up, the teams selected in the top rankings will be given byes into the quarterfinals.
4) Signup deadline is the conclusion of Rett's Pool Party, approx. 3-4pm on Thursday, July 19.


Since the event is at my house - in case Britt didn't already invite you - consider this post your invitation. (directions here)


So far the Teams include:

1) Jolie and her boyfriend Jordan
2) But ... can she work a plow?
3) Not Awkward at All
4) Don't get any ideas, Parrish
5) Return...of the Manzenbaum
6) Sex Panther
7) There Goes Your Self Esteem (obviously a team including Haley)
8) Fat, Drunk, and Stupid
9) Tangible Assets
10) Excludable Fruits
11) Team Congress: Breaking You Off Something Necessary and Proper

The Canons of Destruction were going to play but 1/2 the team injured himself making love to his hand.

That leaves five spots remaining, so feel free to sign up. Keep in mind the past champions have gone on to transfer to Georgetown, become President of SBA, and win top speaker / top team in moot court.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

In Case You're Wondering Why the Couch Was Empty

Chicago walked into the lounge yesterday looking confused and out of breath.


Me: How's it going, Chicago?
Chicago: Good . . . pretty good.
B.M.W: How was your trip, Chicago?
Chicago: The trip was great. I just got back. Washington is a good city.
Me: Wait. You were in Washington the weekend of finals?
Chicago: Yea, it was for the Federalist Society and it was a great success. Apparently they really like my commitment, organization and determination so they made me the new regional coordinator for the Texas / Oklahoma area.




Chicago Celebrating His Great Success with the Future Family

So now that you're updated on Chicago and I'm done with Secured, all of Prof. Contract's divine afflatus has been purged and it's on to ConLaw for Thursday.

Be on the lookout for far more interesting / relevant posts either later today or tomorrow.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Negotiable Instruments

Unless half the final could have been answered with a combination of frowny faces and expletives, I probably failed. But that's not to say I didn't try and that's not to say I blame myself. Oh no. I blame only the test and its creator.

Rather than describing the experience in detail and risking an honor code violation, I'll simply say Prof. Negotiable / Antitrust and I are no longer friends and leave you with that. That and this video.



Up next is Secured on Tuesday.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Baylor Police Live Happy Lives

I have it on good authority that two people were escorted out of the law school at 3 AM following a run in with Baylor cops; a run in not unlike the ones from my youth:

Officer: You can't be here, the law school closes at 2.
Student: But we're studying for finals.
Officer: Please, don't resist and just let us do our job.
Student: But we've always studied here until late.
Officer: You do something often enough and you're going to get caught. Now let's get moving.

So yea. That's one of the lamest stories ever and if you're the kind of guy that studies late into the night with a three-pound bag of coke hidden somewhere in your anus . . . I'd be careful about that. That's a lot of coke to be putting in one anus.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Fallen

This may be normal, I don't think it is, but the current 2Q's have lost 11 or more since starting in the Spring. I'd research it further but the U.C.C. isn't going to study itself.

That being said, if someone from each quarter could do me the favor of figuring out how many people have left since you started (ideally broken down into orientation drop outs, post-orientation drop outs and transfers), I'd appreciate it.

I'll start:
I started in Summer '06:
Orientation drop outs: 3
Post Orientation drop outs: 0
Transfers: 2 (Georgetown, SMU)

Now you try.

Today and tomorrow the comments might be the key to keeping people entertained because if there's one thing I've learned from studying so far, it's that there is nothing less funny than Articles 3 and 4. Absolutely nothing.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

SBA Does You Right

In case you missed it in the comments section, replaced by Uncle Dan's and Fazoli's, the prison sandwiches of quarters past are no more. Below is the schedule of gratuitous food that SBA has provided for this quarter's finals.


Breakfast: an assortment of donuts, kolaches, bagels, apple juice and orange juice.

Lunch:
Friday - Pizza
Saturday - Chick-fil-a
Monday - Fazoli's
Tuesday - Pizza
Wednesday - Uncle Dan's BBQ

Tremendous. And if you're the kind of person that prefers paying for food, Vitek's is officially reopened.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Returning the Thanks

Prof. ConLaw left today's class to a well deserved round of honest applause.

12 or 13 weeks ago, BC and I ran into RR as he was walking out of the law school. The conversation was short and he didn't smile. He simply said, "I'm excited for ConLaw this summer. It's my first time teaching it, it's only a 30 person class and I'm ready to have fun."

At the time, BC and I looked at each other, gave a scared hesitant laugh and RR kept going.

Looking back now, I can honestly say he was telling the truth. ConLaw was fun. It was a class people got excited for, it was a class people talked about and it was a class people looked forward to.

On behalf of the class that didn't get a chance to fill out evals . . . thank you and congrats on a job well done.

Last Day of Class . . . Sort of

BLS started the quarter a day early in an effort to give graduating 3L's an extra day to study for the Bar. Finals start Friday . . . classes end today . . . and Prof. Secured Transactions doesn't care. In a display of pedagogical genius, he takes back our beloved reading day to teach us more about Article 9-609 repossession.

To caption the included image:

Bates breaches the peace after Swanburg stands outside class yelling, "You will never get this . . . you will never get this . . . . lalalala."


See what I did there? That was an Article 9 joke. Always funny.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Today We All Feel Older

Like most guys straight out of undergrad, I came to law school for the sole purpose of never having to date a girl over the age of 19 ever again. Unfortunately, today +1 turns 20 and the dream comes to an end.


A Less Attractive Version of Myself Living the Dream


So Happy Birthday to her and has anyone seen Baker? Last time I checked he spent about 6 pages interviewing the inanimate object know as Angkor Wat. I'm worried about him.
Update:

I don't really know if this counts as an update but there's a rumor that SBA added BBQ and a "surprise" to the finals lunch menu to supplement the always popular Chick-fill-A and pizza.

So maybe that's what Baker's doing. That or pretending he's a unicorn watching the Tour de France. One of the two.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

A Note of Clarification

I've received several calls, IM's and e-mails from concerned people who misinterpreted the last post. I haven't withdrawn, dropped out, or even taken a break from law school.

Baylor offers a JD/MBA degree . . . that's what I'm doing. Nothing more, nothing less. While law school alone is normally 3 years and Business school alone is generally 2, combining the programs cuts off about a year and I don't get either degree till I've completed them both.*

Since you have to be within 6 units of graduating to take the Bar, you can't do all of your law classes followed by all of your business classes unless you want to take the Bar after being out of law school for a year or taking a ton of extra units.

That being said, while it's true I'll never again sit in class with Britt, B.M.W. or any other 5Q who decides to go straight through, others like the current 2Q's (including E.P. and some of my other favorite people) will likely join me for PC . . . and that's something we can all look forward to.

*The business school and law school will tell you entirely different things as can be seen comparing the websites. For example the Baylor Law website claims that you only need 24 units from business school to graduate while the Business school website shows you in fact need 32.

Friday, July 06, 2007

What to Do?

Following the ConLaw final two Fridays from now, I'll not likely post again about law school for another year. Not just a school year, we're talking a full calendar year.

The good people at the Baylor MBA program have generously given me 75% tuition remission along with a stipend to cover the rest. That being said, I've signed and submitted all the required paperwork and will be starting at Hankamer this coming Fall. I'll be there for the entire year, working the following Summer and starting again at BLS the following Fall.

For those that really care about my schedule, I won't be taking PC until Spring/Summer '09.

What does all that mean? It means this blog will be about business school. Granted, there will undoubtedly be some comparative discourse but this blog will most certainly not be the same.

I only mention this in the hope that someone will replace me. Though the position is far from paid, you'll undoubtedly be appreciated by me and a countless number of local women who appreciate a good double entendre. We're talking countless. Contact me if you're interested or just start a blog and I'll find you.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Prof. Evidence?

I saw this as a comment on Poseur's blog:

Anonymous said...
how about the professor for Evidence in the Fall being listed as TBA on Bearweb?


Seeming as how this research appears to be beyond reproach, I reprint it here for all to speculate over.

And just because I promised the blog would get better, here's my 5'4" rendition of Prof. CivPro.

Blogging About Blogging

The blogging has been really slow on my part these last couple weeks and for that I apologize. My time has either been spent watching the steadily rising, rain-swelled Brazos and/or +1. Since the latter has left to traipse about Europe for the next 5 weeks and the former no longer amuses me, this blog is about to get a whole lot of much needed attention.

For those looking for something to read during finals, you're welcome in advance.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Bear Essentials

The drawing contest from awhile back has a winner and that winner is this:
The creation of Alden Nascimento, this bear represents Baylor Law better than anything I could have imagined. While lesser bears would have brought bottled honey, only a Baylor bear brings an active beehive and forgets his shoes.